Arranged
by Kgirl1
Summary: An arranged marriage between Stanford and Agura could only mean one thing: Disaster!
1. Frequent Flier

**A/N: No more Mrs. Nice Ibaden (Such as in 'Not Without You') She is now the classic 'tries too hard but means well'. This is more of an introductory chapter with some flamboyant OCs. XD The plot picks up in chapter two and for once, Vert and Agura actually START in a relationship, instead of my usual dragging-out-the-ups-and-downs-of-love. Enjoy!**

_**Let's go to the beach, beach, let's go get away-**_

"Ugh…what the…" Agura woke up to the blaring sounds of Nicki Minaj. "Vert…what is that?" She removed her boyfriend's arm from her waist in an effort to wake him up.

"Five more minutes…" Vert muttered, flipping over and pulling his pillow over his head.

_**They say what they gonna say**_

"Vert…turn it off!" Agura elbowed him.

"Ugh…" Vert rolled into a sitting position, turning on a lamp on his nightstand only to wince and turn it back off. "Is that your phone?" He mumbled blearily. "Wait..." He snickered, slightly more awake. "That's your _ringtone?_"

"Shut up…" Agura grumbled, groping around on his nightstand to find the blaring device.

_**Have a drink, click, found the bud light**_

"Who in their right mind would call you at three in the morning?" Vert muttered, flipping back onto his stomach.

_**Bad b-**_

"Ha!" Agura grabbed the phone and switched it off, but not in time to avoid Vert's snicker. She glared at him, but he simply laughed.

"I'm sorry, I just can't even get over this…your ringtone is Starships! Friggin' Starships!"

"Be quiet." She stuck out her tongue, and he waggled his eyebrows as she answered the phone with a groggy...

"Hello?"

"Agura? You sound sick! Honey, are you feeling alright?"

"_Mother?" _Agura's jaw dropped. A three AM prank call? Sure! Drunk dial? Understandable. But her _mother_?

"Well of course, dear!" The enthusiastic Mrs. Ibaden replied brightly. "How are you doing? I have some good news!"

"Mom, it's like, three AM here…" Agura sighed, and Vert looked at her curiously.

"_Your mom?_" He mouthed, and she nodded. Vert threw his arms up in exasperation, dropping like a stone back onto his pillow, and (covering up the receiver) she giggled.

"Really?" Mrs. Ibaden asked in confusion. "Honey, it's past noon!"

"Mom. I live in Arizona now." Agura said slowly, clear exasperation on her face. "In the U.S.? In the time zone nine hours behind yours?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, sweetie, I just got so excited!" Mrs. Ibaden's voice resumed full perkiness, and Vert mocked her from his pillow, making hoity-toity faces as Agura silently cracked up.

"A-about what, mom?" She finally regained her breath.

"The plane! We booked you a flight, sweetheart! You're coming home for a little visit!" Her mother squealed, and Agura froze. Vert paused his mocking to look at her in concern.

"Uhm…why?" Agura asked weakly.

"Well, I can't _tell_ you." Mrs. Ibaden said as if it were obvious. "It's a surprise! Get packed up, honey, your flight leaves at two!"

"Two?" Agura narrowed her eyes. "Mom, is that your time or mine?"

"Hmm…Oh! It's yours! Good thing I woke you up; now you'll have enough time to pac-"

"_Mother!_" Agura hissed. "That's in less than two _hours_!" Vert's jaw dropped, and he whipped around to look at the clock: 3:17. Her flight left at five in the morning, and the nearest airport (in Phoenix) was over an hour away.

"I'm sorry, dear, I just got so excited-"

"Mom! I have to go!" Agura barked, slamming her phone shut and jumping out of Vert's bed.

"I cannot even _believe _that woman!" She raged, ripping off her pajamas as Vert politely shielded his eyes. "Oh, you've seen it all before!" She hissed, yanking on the clothing she kept in his room. Technically, they weren't allowed to sleep in each other room's, and so the couple had had to devise more complicated ways of sneaking around. "I have to be packed and out of here in twenty minutes!"

"It's fine; you'll make it." Vert soothed. "I'll help you; where's your suitcase?"

"My room; bottom of the closet." She muttered, struggling with her bra. Vert quickly came up behind her, hooked it on, and pecked her on the lips.

"We can do this." He said firmly, then sprinted across the hall and pressing his hand onto the scanner.

_Thank God for full security clearance._ Vert thought to himself as the door slid open. He pulled the suitcase from the closet and propped it open on her bed (which had hardly been slept in since they had begun dating). Agura sprinted in soon after, her arm in the neck hole of her shirt. She growled, fixing it, and went quickly to her closet, randomly pulling out clothes.

"Throw these in!" She instructed as articles of clothing came flying toward Vert's head. He grabbed and pressed them into the suitcase as quickly as he could, blushing as a handful of underwear was tossed at him. The onslaught stopped as quickly as it had started as Agura darted into the bathroom.

"Agh! Everything's over three ounces!" She groaned.

"Okay; I have travel size shampoo, conditioner, and toothpaste. I'll get those; you grab everything else." Vert took charge, darting across the hall and into his bathroom.

"You use conditioner?" Agura tilted her head as he pressed the items, along with a plastic bag, into her hands.

"Put all the liquids in there, and yes, it makes my hair soft." Vert grinned.

"Okay; I have clothes, shoes, and bathroom covered, and it's 3:30…anything else?" Agura frowned, zipping the suitcase.

"Here, you'll want your phone and iPod for the plane…" Vert grabbed the items and a purse hanging from her closet. "And…" He paused, struck by inspiration, and darted into his room, grabbing a book and dashing in to hand it to her.

"1,000 plus Sudoku puzzles?" Agura tilted her head, a smile on her lips.

"I get bored." Vert shrugged, and she laughed, hugging him tightly.

"You're awesome."

"Text me when you land, okay?" Vert kissed the top of her head.

"I will." Agura nodded, pulling her suitcase off of her bed, out of her room and down the hallway.

"I love you." She blew a kiss as she entered the Tangler. "You're the best!" She waved the Sudoku book with a grin.

"So, sex when you get back?" Vert raised an eyebrow, only partially kidding.

"How can you think about that at three AM?" Agura laughed as she pulled out.

"You didn't answer!" Vert called as the Tangler retreated.

"Yes!" She shouted over her shoulder. Vert grinned to himself, then checked the clock.

_Oh my God, it's only three-thirty-two_. He groaned, trudging back into his room.

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"Last call for the transatlantic flight!" A flight attendant announced as Agura nearly sprinted into her terminal, handing the man her ticket. Security had been slow even at four AM, not to mention that it was on the other side of the airport.

"You're very lucky, young lady." He raised an eyebrow as he scanned it. "Have a good flight."

"Thanks." She breathed, handing the ticket to a perky flight attendant as she entered the plane.

"Wow, you almost missed the flight there, didn't ya?" The older woman, with a hint of a northern accent, smiled brightly. "Don't worry, hon, we'll get you seated right up!" She said cheerily as she directed Agura to a seat in first class.

"I-I'm in first class?" Agura asked in surprise.

"Well that's what the ticket says!" 'Debbie', as her nametag read, grinned with a little too much enthusiasm for five in the morning. "Have a seat, honey, we'll take good care of you!" She gestured as Agura, still a little shocked at the first class accommodations, slowly sat down in the spacious seat. "You just press this button whenever you need something, and I'll be right here. There's a pillow and blanket available for you there, and you just draw the curtain anytime you want to sleep. Breakfast is available anytime until eleven, and then we start lunch, and…well, here, I'll give you the schedule. Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks." Agura smiled at the kind woman.

"Alright, well you just have a good flight now, okay dear?" Debbie smiled, and turned to go.

"No problem." Agura murmured to herself, reaching for the pillow behind her head and reclining her seat. She would have preferred not to have left her boyfriend's bed at all to the plane seat at this hour, but first class beat coach, hands down.

_Only good thing about this trip so far_. She thought cynically to herself just before falling asleep.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

It was nine AM Phoenix time; Agura's watch told her when she woke up.

"Thank _God_." A female voice next to her exclaimed as she opened her eyes. "I have been _dying_ for some conversation ever since this plane lifted off. The only other choice was that guy giving me the look across the aisle or one of the flight attendants." The girl snapped her gum, and Agura realized that she hadn't even glanced at her seat partner, and she now took a full look.

And was slightly blinded. The girl, maybe around her age, wore bright yellow shorts and had layered a neon blue sports bra with two tank tops; one hot pink and the other underneath it lime green. She had tie-dyed sunglasses perched on her head along with an assortment of yellow, blue, pink and green headbands and a few yellow, blue, pink and green bobby pins holding in loose strands of hair. Her shoes were blue and pink floral patterned wedges, she had tangles of multicolored friendship bracelets on both wrists, and her fingernails were painted hot pink with yellow tips. Her toenails sparkled with blue glitter. The girl had pale skin and wispy hair so blonde it was almost white. Her bright blue eyes popped amidst dark lashes and her lips were bubblegum pink. Overall, Agura was a bit stunned.

"Hi?" She said hesitantly.

"You _do_ talk!" The girl exclaimed with glee, and she looked so bright, animated and doll-like that Agura almost pictured a puppeteer above her, pulling strings. "I was getting _so_ mega-bored just sitting here, because I absolutely _cannot_ sleep on planes, way too scared I'll die or get mauled or something, but everyone else was asleep and I already did the word search they give you and read the Sky Mall magazine and just thank _God_ you're awake." She took a quick breath. "I'm Elsie, by the way."

"I'm Agura; hi." Agura said slowly, in an effort to slow her seat-mate down.

"Ooh! Agura; that's so twee!" Elsie exclaimed.

"Twee?" Agura tilted her head in confusion.

"Twee. Excessively cute or adorable." Elsie explained quickly. "I mean, Agura! Heart that! I totes wish I had an original name, but I'm legally stuck with Elsie until I'm eighteen, and that's only if I can pick something cute to change it to!"

"Mhm." Agura nodded, completely overwhelmed by the colorful girl's massive presence.

"So, Agura. What are you heading to A-freak-ah for?" Elsie asked, pronouncing the continent's name Shakira style.

"Family issues." Agura answered.

"Ooh." Elsie knit her fingers together, perched her chin on them, and balanced her elbows on the armrest in between them. "This sounds like an interesting story."

"You have no idea." Agura laughed, and proceeded to inform her seatmate of the morning's speed-packing adventure.

"Oh my God." Elsie's jaw dropped. "Your mom totally forgot the time change?"

"Completely." Agura sighed. "She means well, but she has a funny way of showing it."

"I hear that." Elsie nodded. "But God! Your boyfriend sounds amazing!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah, he's great." Agura smiled wistfully.

"You promised him sex for helping, didn't you?" Elsie grinned knowingly.

"Well, I mean…He asked!" Agura blushed, and Elsie laughed.

"It's okay. I have a guy sitch too. But hold that thought; I'm _starving_." She pressed the call button, and Debbie appeared.

"I see you two have met!" She gushed. "I figured you two would have fun, don'tcha know. Can I get you anything?"

"Breakfast would be great." Elsie smiled, and Agura noted that she had braces; the colorful rubber bands in ROY G BIV rainbow order, or course.

"I'll get that right up for ya!" Debbie said cheerily.

"Okay, she's from either Minnesota, North Dakota, or Wisconsin." Elsie said the second Debbie disappeared.

"Probably." Agura grinned.

"Think I should ask?" Elsie grinned slyly. Before Agura had a chance to respond, Debbie reappeared, setting two plates down on their trays.

"Thanks." Agura smiled, surveying the breakfast; a bagel with cream cheese and strawberries.

"Excuse me, Debbie?" Elsie asked. "Are you from Wisconsin, by chance?"

"Well don'tcha know, I'm actually from Minnesota!" Debbie exclaimed.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." Elsie smiled sweetly, shooting Agura a private look that said "Told ya!"

"Can I get you girls anything to drink?" Debbie looked to them.

"Apple juice." Elsie replied instantly, and Agura stifled laughter.

"I'll have orange juice." She replied, and Debbie nodded, disappearing behind the curtain. Agura turned to Elsie and immediately began laughing.

"What? Apple juice is a perfectly adult drink!" Elsie pouted.

"It is _not_." Agura managed through giggles.

"Oh, because orange juice is so mature." Elsie folded her arms, but had to give in and laugh with Agura.

"Anyway," Agura began once they regained their breath, "You said you had a 'boy sitch' to talk about?"

"Oh girl." Elsie held up a finger. "Do I ever." She nodded intensely. "So, I'm dating this boy named Peter. And don't get me wrong, Peter's cute, Peter's nice, Peter's smart, but he's more the sensible kind of boyfriend you want to marry, right? I'm still into the whole teenage romantic summer fling. And so the thing is, his best friend is this _hottie, _Brandon, who I dated last year for like, six months, which is totes long-term, right? So this one night, at a party, I run into Brandon, major awks, and Peter isn't there, but this _other_ guy, Connor, who I kind of had a friends-with-benefits thing going on with while I dated Peter, is." Elsie paused, narrowing her eyes. "Don't give me that look; I am no slut, it's just that Peter has as much sex appeal as a bag of rocks. So anyway, me and Brandon are talking, and Connor just like comes up and like, grabs my waist. And I was just like 'Not in front of Brandon!' but it was too late, because Brandon already has this grudge thing against me since I broke up with him, and he snaps a pic and sends it to Peter! And I was just like "'Kay, screw you then!" And so Peter calls me like, faster than the picture could even send, and he's all "WTF?" Except, you know, he's so innocent, so it was more like "Uhm, what?" and so then _I_ was just like "This isn't what it looks like" and he was all "We need to talk," like Mr. Serious, and so then I was just like "Okay, uhm, this isn't gonna work out…" And so I kind of broke up with him right in front of his best friend, and he was all "We can work this out; we're stronger than this," and then I was finally just like "See ya!" and so then Brandon calls me a B-word, cause he heard the whole thing, so I just kind of totally snapped and cussed him out and said things I'd rather not repeat on U.S. Airlines, and by then this huge crowd was around me, and all my girlfriends were like "Yeah, Elsie, you tell him girl!" And then Brandon's girlfriend was just like "OMG, you're such a man-ho!" and so she dumped him, and so I basically caused two breakups in under three minutes, but me and Brandon's girlfriend Lauren are BFFs now, so that's cool, but still! And so Brandon stomps off and goes and does whatever, but then Connor, my friends with benefits guy, y'know, just kinda slides in and he's like "That was super hot" and so I was like "You just made me break up with my boyfriend, D-bag!" So I slapped him, and then _finally_ all my guy-ties were cut, and so I'm just like "I need to go home and like, bury my head under a pillow." But of course I rode here with Connor, who I totally just dissed, so I don't have a ride, and so I'm like, walking down the street in Phoenix in my best stilettos and looking like a total hooker when out of nowhere, this Mr. Tall dark and handsome drives up in a _convertible_, for God's sake, I mean, call me a material girl but HOLLA, and he's just like "Hey, do you need help?" And he looked super nice, and his voice was the cutest thing, all low and sexy but still super nice, and I'm just like "I will bang you right here and now," and so I get in the convertible, and he takes me to this super twee retro drive-in movie theater and we watch Madagascar 3! How twee is that? I mean, it wasn't like we had a choice, but still, like, reliving my childhood over here! So he goes and grabs us popcorn and chocolate malts, and I seriously could have been wearing a poodle skirt and bobby socks, but it was the cutest thing." Elsie finished, taking a gasp of air.

"Wow." Was all Agura could manage.

"I _know_, right?" Elsie buried her face in her hands. "I mean, God! Men are complicated!"

"Oh honey, I know." A well-dressed young man leaned in from across the aisle, and Agura and Elsie shot each other a dubious look. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear. I'm Sebastian, and do I ever hear you about guy troubles." He extended his hand across the aisle, and with a delighted look on her face, Elsie shook it.

"I'm Elsie, and this is Agura. Love the fedora by the way." She introduced. Agura shook his hand as well, noticing Sebastian's well-coiffed hair (under the fedora).

"Thank you." Sebastian touched the hat lightly to adjust it. "So, what's this movie theater boy's name?" He rested his chin on his hand, turning to face them.

"Sherman." Elsie sighed dreamily, and Agura's jaw dropped.

"Sherman?" She managed. "Sherman Cortez? Tall, brown eyes, muscular?"

"OMG! You know him?" Elsie asked excitedly.

"He's my teamma- er, coworker!" Agura exclaimed. "How long ago was this?" She asked, calculating in her head. Sherman had gone into Phoenix sometime last week to run some errands, and Vert only allowed select team members he had deemed responsible enough to take the convertible out for errands (mainly himself, Sherman, and Agura, and mainly because their regular cars wouldn't fit on city streets).

"Oh my God! That is so amazing!" Elsie squealed.

"Totally." Sebastian, who Agura was ninety percent sure was gay, agreed. "Oh my God! You could double date!" He exclaimed.

"Oh my God! We totes could!" Elsie gushed. "That is so twee."

"Wait, do you live in Phoenix?" Agura asked curiously.

"Kind of." Elsie shrugged. "My parents are divorced, so I spend the school year with my mom in Phoenix, and then visit my dad in Africa over the summer. It's a trip, but I love both places."

"Wait, if your dad is African, then…why are you white?" Agura blushed, but she was curious.

"Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!" Sebastian gasped, referencing 'Mean Girls' (**A/N: Great movie. XD)** and causing all three of them to crack up.

"It's okay; I get that question a lot." Elsie shrugged. "It's kind of the reason my parents divorced in the first place. My ho-bag mom was totally cheating on my dad, who I guess is technically not even my real dad, but when my mom told me I was just like 'Listen here, bee'yotch, he, not your scumbag affair dude raised me, and I want to live with him'. But, you know, divorce court, and the schooling in Africa isn't exactly fantastic, no offense Agura, the judge's words not mine, so I have to stay with my mom for the school year, not that I talk to her."

"That's terrible." Sebastian sighed.

"I know; I do a lot of sleeping over, but I do love my Phoenix girls." Elsie shrugged. "Besides, I got to meet Sherman, and the second the school bell rings I hop right back home."

"That's good." Agura said.

"Yeah, it is. I feel a little bad though, I mean, I just met Sherman, and now I'm taking off for three months! I said I would text him though, so thank God for national coverage!" Elsie waved her phone. "Anyway, Sebastian, I'm sure you overheard Agura's story," Sebastian blushed a little at this, "But what are you heading to Africa for?"

"Mission trip." Sebastian said proudly. "My boyfriend and I, he's stuck back in coach, poor thing, are meeting up with a bunch of other people from around the world to help build wells for underprivileged schools." He informed them. Agura smiled; her family, being royalty, had never had those problems, but they had heard too many tales of other countries experiencing droughts, losing money, all kinds of horror stories, and it was always nice to know someone was helping out.

"Oh, so you are gay." Elsie commented nonchalantly, then clasped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my God, I did _not_ mean it like that." She apologized, but Sebastian waved his hand carelessly.

"Don't worry about it; I don't exactly try to cover it up." He touched his fedora lightly. "By the way, love the rainbow outfit."

"I like colors." Elsie smiled brightly.

"I was wondering…" Agura mocked.

"Well, the thing is, everything about me is _so_ colorless. I mean, my hair is like, grandma white," Elsie grabbed a loose strand, "Which isn't even a color, it's a _shade_, I'm super pale, and my eyes are actually hazel. Colored contacts." She explained, blinking brightly.

"I knew those eyes weren't real!" Sebastian snapped. "Sorry." He apologized, and Elsie shrugged.

"Hey, everyone has their thing, and mine is coordination." Elsie defended. "I want to be an interior designer." She admitted, adjusting the tie-dye patterned sunglasses.

"Oh my God, me too!" Sebastian high-fived her. "Agura…" He smiled knowingly. "Don't tell me it's also your dream."

"No," Agura laughed, "I'm not really into that sort of thing."

"I did peg you as a tomboy." Elsie admitted.

"Thanks?" Agura raised an eyebrow.

"Honey, you are wearing pants, a cleavage free tee and sweatshirt." Sebastian bit his lip. "And we are going to Africa."

"This is my favorite outfit!" Agura protested.

"That's our point! Tomboy!" Elsie laughed. "Does your boyfriend like, go for that?" She asked innocently.

"I think her boyfriend _goes_ for the cleavage she's trying to cover up with that shirt." Sebastian muttered jokingly.

"Hey; he's not like that." Agura blushed.

"They do have sex though." Elsie added unhelpfully, and Agura stuck out her tongue.

"For the record, I _like_ sex, and…Oh, God, I'm going to lose this argument either way aren't I?" She sighed, and her tormentors cackled.

The flight went on, and the three unlikely friends discussed airplane food, their travel plans for the summer, Agura's crazy mother, more of Elsie's (and Sebastian's) boyfriend troubles and the fact that she, Sherman, Vert and Agura needed to double date, many other topics and even teamworked a few puzzles in Vert's Sudoku book as the hours (no pun intended) flew by.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently flying over the Atlantic Ocean, and will reach our destination in roughly two hours." The pilot announced, momentarily stopping their conversation.

"Alright, here's dinner for everyone." Debbie came up, setting down trays. "Enjoy now!"

"Okay, she's northern, right?" Sebastian asked the girls, who laughed.

"Yes, she's from Minnesota; Elsie asked her." Agura answered.

"So _that's_ what they mean when they say 'Minnesota nice!'" Sebastian snapped his fingers.

"I think being friendly is just her job…" Agura frowned.

"No, trust me, I have cousins from Minnesota." Elsie cut in. "It's a freaking genetic trait."

"Must be the cold. Keeps their hearts warm." Sebastian joked, and this caused much more discussion for the last two hours of the flight until the plane finally landed.


	2. Welcome Home

**A/N: I'm being really vague as to Agura's family history, native country, etc., because I don't want to be the one who lays her past down on the timeline. Soooo, pardon my vagueness, but I always did have a suspicion that Agura was originally from Nigeria, because of the (extremely racist of Cartoon Network, I might add) connection between her ****last name, Ibaden, and one of Nigeria's major cities, IBADAN, not to mention the other connection I found between her FIRST name****, so I'll be using that for the country, but don't go up in flames if you had your heart set on Chad. XD **

"Good evening, everyone, it is now 12:14 AM in Nigeria. You may turn on your cellular devices and we will be exiting the plane shortly. Thank you for flying with Delta Airlines!" The pilot announced.

"Oh my God, have we landed already?" Elsie looked around as passengers began standing to retrieve their luggage.

"Wow, time really flies." Sebastian laughed, grabbing his bag from the overhead storage bin and handing Elsie hers.

"Well thank you, Mr. Gentleman." Elsie smiled. "How'd you know it was mine?"

Sebastian looked to the hot pink, green, teal, orange, purple, yellow and stripes on the bag.

"Lucky guess." He said sarcastically. "Agura, I'm guessing yours is the green one?"

"Yes, thank you." Agura nodded, taking the bag.

"Guys, we totes have to exchange numbers!" Elsie exclaimed as they left the plane. "You know, so we can double…oh my God, Sebastian, we could triple date!"

"We totally could!" Sebastian high-fived both of them. "Not to mention hang together while we're here!"

"If I can get away from my psycho mother long enough." Agura grumbled as they entered the Nigeria airport.

"Don't worry; we'll kidnap you." Sebastian put his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh my God; Mission Impossible much?" Elsie laughed. "Seriously though, what are the digits?" She waved her iPhone in the air. "Not to show off the Apple logo, my mom just likes to buy me things in an effort to get me to talk to her." She explained quickly, than added as an afterthought- "It doesn't work." They exchanged the numbers among promises to call and swim the Atlantic together sometime.

"Hold on…" Agura narrowed her eyes at someone who was waving excitedly, hurrying towards them. "Oh no."

"What?" Elsie looked over her shoulder.

"I think that's my mother…" Agura said slowly, darting behind Elsie. "Does your house have a spare room? An extra couch? Some floor space?"

"Agura, your mother could _not_ be that bad." Elsie laughed.

"Sebastian? Extra floor space?" Agura asked desperately, switching hiding places, but it was too late.

"Agura, honey? Hello!" Mrs. Ibaden rushed up. "Did you have a nice flight? Are these your friends? How nice!"

"Hi Mom…" Agura said weakly, stepping from behind Sebastian to be squashed in a hug.

"Oh, honey, I made your room all up for you, and we're having your favorite meal for dinner tomorrow, and oh, I'm just so excited!" Her mother clapped, and Elsie and Sebastian exchanged a look.

"I told you guys." Agura murmured as an aside to them as her mother picked up her luggage.

"Come on, honey, it's late, let's go!" Mrs. Ibaden gestured excitedly, and with Elsie and Sebastian shooting her sympathetic looks, Agura was dragged off. Seconds later, a text popped up on both their phones.

**Told you.**

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"Mom, can you at least tell me what this surprise _is_?" Agura sighed as they drove towards home.

"No no no, you'll find out tomorrow!" Her mother sang.

"Okay." Agura resigned, knowing arguing would be pointless.

"So, was your trip good? I saw you met some…er, _colorful_ friends…" Her mother said carefully.

"Yes, I did. They're nice." Agura replied automatically.

"Well that's good! You always were such a quiet one." Her mother smiled nostalgically. "How's your job? Specter Motors, is it?"

"Sure Mom." Agura rolled her eyes. "It's fine." She had been listening to these talks for a good couple of year now, and knew exactly how they would go.

"Make any new friends?"

"A few."

"That's good! Are they nice?"

_No, Mom, they're terrorists._

"Yes, Mom."

"Good! Any boys?" Her mother winked, and Agura struggled to keep a blank expression; the question had been asked several times since she and Vert had been together but she still avoided telling her mother the truth.

"No, Mom."

"Well that's a shame! You should talk to your sister, I hear they are just knocking down her door!"

"Sure Mom."

"Anyway, how are things in general?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"Okay, great?"

"Good!"

The discussion went on like this for the entire ride back to the Ibaden's house, where Agura was finally given some peace.

Or so she wished.

"Anyone home?" Agura called softly, turning on the lights. It was almost one AM Nigeria time, but there was always the chance-

"'GURA!" A small figure came barreling at her the second she stepped into the room.

"Hi, Keisha!" Agura smiled; it was always nice to see her bubbly younger sister.

"Agura's home already?" Someone sat up on the couch and yawned.

"Hi Kenny." Agura smiled at Keisha's twin.

"No fair! Keish, you said you would wake me up!" Kenny pouted.

"Nope; I got the first hug, so stick that in your juice box, mister!" Keisha stuck out her tongue.

"Keisha, language." Agura automatically warned the seven year old, trying not to laugh.

"Hey, little sis!" Jordan, her older brother, entered the living room holding a small child.

"Hey Jordan." Agura smiled, hugging him around her sister Johana.

"Goog!" The two-year-old babbled, stretching her arms toward her sister. Agura grinned as she took the child; seeing her family made her mother's craziness almost worth it.

"Will everyone knock it off, I'm trying to sleep! It's not like we never get to see lil' sis or anything." A droll voice teased.

"Halla…" Agura smiled knowingly, moving to embrace her elder sister. She and Halla weren't very similar, but they were very close.

"Hey Googs." Halla winked, hugging her tightly.

"Not with the nickname again…" Agura groaned, but she secretly didn't mind the endearing term.

"C'mon, it's adorable!" Halla released her.

"Maybe when Jo says it." Agura rolled her eyes, hefting the two-year-old higher on her hip.

"See? Jo! You're not the only one with a nickname." Halla pointed out.

"I wanna nickname!" Keisha exclaimed.

"You can be Kiki." Halla bent down to her level.

"Alright!" Keisha cheered. "And your nickname can be halla-back-girl!" She giggled, but before Halla had time to protest, Agura's father appeared.

"Children. It is late. Back to bed." The man of few words stated.

"Dad…" Halla groaned. "We're not children; I'm nineteen!"

"More importantly," Jordan implied, "Agura's here!"

"Oh." Mr. Ibaden said, noticing his daughter. "Evening, _binti_." ** (Daughter)**

"Hi Dad." Agura smiled. Her father, a stoic, quiet man of few words hadn't changed a bit.

"Hello everyone!" Mrs. Ibaden banged through the door, trying to manage Agura's suitcase and her purse at the same time.

"Hey Mom." There were a few waves as Mr. Ibaden moved to help with her suitcase.

"Okay kids, I know we're excited but Agura needs her sleep, so let's all get back to bed, alright?" Agura's mother took control, and with a few groans everyone began trudging back to bed.

The Ibaden's sleeping situation was an interesting one, to say the least. With so many children in the house it would have been impossible for everyone to have a room, and so all of the Ibaden children slept in a large loft above the house Halla had descended from moments ago. At one point in time there had been eight of them, Keisha and Kenny having just been born, in the house, and so the loft currently eight single beds and Johana's crib. The beds were designed so that they could be stacked into bunks if necessary, which the children had done to make room to play when they were younger, but Jordan was so tall (a fact that made the 5'4" Agura jealous) that he had to push two of the beds together and lay diagonally across. That left Keisha and Kenny to one bunk (after a quick dispute about who got to sleep on top), and Agura and Halla sharing another. Agura did have two younger brothers, ages eleven (Essien) and four (Kyan), but they had slept through her arrival.

"Night, Halla." Jordan began their nightly round in age order, which had been a tradition since Agura's two oldest brothers had been born, although they had long since left the roost. Jordan was also currently in college, and Agura assumed he was simply visiting for the summer.

"Night Jordan. Night Googs! Glad you're home." Halla said cheerily from below her.

"Yeah, me too…" Agura muttered unsurely, as she set Johana in the crib. "Night Halla. Night Kiki." She did have

"Night Agura…night Kenny." Keisha murmured sleepily.

"Night Keisha." Kenny replied. "Night Johana!" He whispered to the crib.

"Googs!" Johana giggled.

"Uh-oh, Keisha. Looks like we lost the favorite sister competition." Halla laughed.

"We were having that?" Keisha panicked.

"Don't worry, Kiki." Agura smiled. "She's teasing."

"Hey, speaking of teasing, did anyone tell you about tomorrow's surprise?" Halla asked slyly.

"No!" Agura huffed. "I mean, she wakes me up at three AM, flies me over here-"

"To be fair, it _was_ first class." Halla interjected.

"Whatever." Agura rolled her eyes. "She can't _buy_ me into bending to whatever this surprise is-"

"Lord knows she tries." Jordan muttered from across the room.

"Hey, it's not my fault-"

"Will you guys be quiet already?" Kenny groaned, throwing pillows at them. "I'm trying to sleep!" There were a few subdued giggles at his comment, but soon they were overcome by snores as the family ticked off to sleep. Because it was only dinnertime back in Handler's Corner's, Agura was in no position to sleep anytime soon, and decided to give her leader a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Vert." Agura said guiltily. She had forgotten to call him after landing.

"Agura! I'm so glad you called; I thought your plan had crashed!" Vert said, relieved.

"Yeah, I know, sorry. My mom literally whisked me off." She admitted.

"Got it. So how's it going?"

"Good enough. It's almost two AM here, but I couldn't sleep. How about you?"

"Not bad. Sage freaked when I told her you left."

"Agh, really?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're already missing Stanford,"

"Oh, man, I forgot about that! Where is he again?"

"His mom's stepdad's uncle's dog's second-cousin's birthday or something."

"Oh, Jeremy!" Agura laughed.

"Right." Vert chuckled. "But Tezz can kind of do his thing. You're a completely different story."

"Well, it's nice to know I'm being missed."

"Haha, yeah, we had to send AJ in instead. He was super excited, though, so-"

"Wait, there was a Stormshock?" Agura demanded.

"Oh….Yeah…Don't worry, we got the Key. Everything's totally fine." Vert calmed her.

"That's good, I guess…Ugh, I just feel really bad skipping out!"

"It's not your fault. I mean, you work harder than anyone else; you deserve a vacation."

"This is _not_ my idea of a vacation."

"No?"

"No! I mean, it's tropical, but I'd much rather be in the Caribbean with you."

"Fair enough. Let's do it."

"Right now?" Agura rolled her eyes.

"No, I can wait until you get back."

"What about the team?"

"They can take care of themselves."

"Let's be honest here, Vert."

"Okay, after, then."

"Mhm…Sounds good."

"Well hey, I should let you sleep." Vert said.

"Alright, night. Love you." Agura sighed, flipping over on her mattress and preparing for sleep. He always knew how to calm her down.

"Love you too." Vert replied, and she hung up, tucking the phone into her pillowcase to avoid snatching from her siblings.

"Who was that?" Halla's head appeared from above her, hanging upside down and shocking Agura so badly that she impulsively grabbed the pillow and smacked her sister across the face with it.

"OW!" Halla exclaimed, clapping a hand to her nose, which the phone had found. "What the heck was that for?"

"You scared the crap out of me!" Agura hissed as her sister grouchily swung from the top bunk onto hers.

"Well, sorry!" Halla huffed. "Now," She rolled over on her stomach and rested her chin on her hands, "Who's this Vert boy?"

Agura blushed bright red. "No one."

"Uhm, 'Night, love you'?" Halla raised an eyebrow. "That's no no one."

"Halla, it's nothing, okay?" Agura tried to elude the question, but if nothing else her sister was stubborn.

"You either tell me right now or I go tell _Mom_." Halla threatened, and Agura gasped.

"You wouldn't." She glared. _That _was just cruel.

"Try me." Halla glared fiercely, and in the stand-off that resulted, she went for Agura's pillowcase, snatching out the very phone that was the reason for the reddish bump on her nose.

"Ha!" She cheered, holding it out of Agura's reach (it seemed everyone in the Ibaden family had inherited their father's height except for her). "Let's see…inbox! A certain Vert Wheeler texted-"

"Okay, give it back, I'll tell you!" Agura pleaded; Halla did _not_ need to read those texts. Her sister smiled smugly.

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

Agura paused. What choice did she have?

"Yes."

Halla squealed, clapping her hands together. "Agura has a boyfriend!" She exclaimed, hugging her sister. "For how long?"

"Five months." Agura admitted.

"'Gura!" Halla's jaw dropped. "And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone!" Agura defended. "I didn't want Mom to know." She confessed.

"I hear you there." Halla nodded. "What's he like? Tell me everything!" She exclaimed, and Agura did her best to fill her sister in without giving away the Battle Force 5.

"Wow." Halla shook her head. "Gura, that's awesome. I'm so proud of you!" She squealed again.

"You can _not_ tell Mom." Agura said firmly, shaking her off.

"I won't." Halla shook her head seriously. "_Mimi ahadi."_ **(I promise) **She held out her pinky, and Agura shook it with hers.

"_Ahadi_." She repeated, and they smiled together, bound by secrecy.

"Alright, I should get some sleep." Halla yawned, glancing at the clock; they had talked for nearly an hour.

"Same." Agura agreed. "Night."

"Night 'Gura. Good luck with your surprise tomorrow. I think you might need it."

**A/N Quick Note on Agura's family so that we can keep them all straight. Five brothers was just too many to keep track of, so the two oldest have left the roost and probably won't play major roles (if any) in this fic. Other than that, the order is Jordan (23), Halla (19), Agura (17; I always assumed the BF5 was around that age if not older), then Essien (12; he hasn't been mentioned yet), Keisha and Kenny (twins at 7), Kyan (4; hasn't been mentioned yet), and Johana (2). Hope that helps and that you like! The actually plot WILL be revealed next chapter; promise XD. Until then!**


	3. Surprise!

**LOL This story actually does have a plot. I ALMOST split this chapter in half, but then I decided I liked it better long. TWO mega twists in ONE chapter! (Lame advertising heehee.) Also, lots of relationship focus, mostly between Agura and her dad, Agura and Halla, and OF COURSE Agura/Vert. So, yup. Enjoy and read on :)**

"Morning, dear!" Mrs. Ibaden trilled cheerily as Agura slumped into the kitchen, taking a seat. Her mother had always dreamed of having a breakfast nook, but with eight children it had turned into more of a breakfast booth. "Are you feeling alright? It's almost noon! I'm making grilled cheese for lunch! Are you hungry? How'd you sleep?"

"Yep." Agura, overwhelmed, muttered, leaning against the table.

"You okay?" Jordan nudged her.

"Jet lag." Agura sighed, burying her head in her arms.

"Ouch." Halla winced, and as if on cue, Keisha and Kenny came barreling into the room, four year old Kyan in tow.

"Finally!" Keisha huffed, upon seeing Agura. "Mom said we couldn't be loud until you woke up, but you woke up now, so it's okay!"

"Sure is, Keish." Agura forced a smile.

"When did 'Gura get here?" Kyan squinted at her.

"Hi, Kyan." Agura had to smile at the four year old. "I flew in last night."

"That's right! 'Cos of the suppers!" Kyan exclaimed.

"Surprise, honey." Agura's mother corrected him.

"If I ever find out what it is." Agura interjected.

"Well, let me just call everybody together for lunch…" Mrs. Ibaden winked, ringing a small bell that stood by the stove. It was impossible to track down and corral everyone into the kitchen at the same time, and so the bell, which could be heard throughout the entire house, was used instead. In only minutes, everyone had filed in and taken their seats at the table, where they were promptly served. Agura smiled; it was like nothing had changed since she had left.

Two years ago. That fight still made her cringe.

"Alright, everybody, before we eat anymore, I have an announcement!" Mrs. Ibaden clapped her hands together. There was a collective groan; no one was allowed to eat until everybody was served and seated, and they had only just begun to dig in.

"Agura," Her mother beamed, "I know we've been making you wait to tell you this, but I didn't want to put it off a second longer!" Agura only nodded, she had taken a huge bite of her sandwich just before the announcement was made.

"Okay." Mrs. Ibaden took a deep breath, reaching for her husband's hand. "Agura, honey…"

"Ahem-getonwithit-ahemhem." Jordan coughed, and Halla stifled a giggle.

"I guess I'll just come right out with it!" Mrs. Ibaden exclaimed; too excited to have heard the aside. "Agura…" Agura looked to her mother expectantly, and she stood up.

"You're getting married!"

Agura spat out her sandwich in shock.

"_WHAT?" _She demanded as her mother recoiled.

"Agura, please! How unladylike!" She scolded, reaching for a napkin and dabbing at the mess.

"Excuse me, you didn't answer my question!" Agura screeched. Halla's mouth was hanging open, and Jordan was looking at her nervously as if waiting for a bomb to explode. Excitement was wild in Keisha's eyes, and Kenny looked surprised. Kyan was simply confused, trying to judge how he should react according to everyone else, and Johana was simply sitting in Halla's lap, her giggles the only noise in the otherwise silent tension. Agura's father avoided her eyes.

"Well, honey, I thought I made it clear! You're getting married!" Her mother said more slowly.

"No, I'm not." Agura said firmly, standing up to face her.

"Agura, we found a husband for you-"

"Oh my God, mother! You are not _arranging_ my _marriage_!" Agura's jaw dropped. This was just insane.

"Honey, your older brothers both have arranged marriages, and they're both very happy!" Her mother protested. "This will strongly strengthen political ties for our country with-"

"That doesn't mean I will be!" Agura exclaimed. "What am I, just some pawn you can marry off to strengthen political ties!"

"No, honey, it's not like that-"

"It kind of sounds like it is!" Agura cut her off. "God, you just think you can control every little aspect of my life! _This_ is why I left, mother! You want to know why I flew halfway across the world? To get away from you!" She shouted, sprinting out of the kitchen. Seconds later, the front door slammed, and Mrs. Ibaden sunk slowly down in her chair, stunned. Her husband put a hand on her shoulder, and Halla angrily stood up.

"Way to go Mom. We didn't even get to see her for twenty four hours-"

"Halla!" The typically silent Mr. Ibaden snapped sternly, and she recoiled, unused to the emotion shown by her father. Halla sat back down resentfully, and he stood without a word, turning and leaving the kitchen. Halla looked uncertainly to Jordan, and they both walked out as well.

"Well." Mrs. Ibaden piped up in a small voice, a tear escaping her eye. "I suppose they weren't hungry. Shall we finish lunch?" She looked anxiously to the younger children.

"Yeah, I'm 'ungry!" Kyan cheered, taking a large bite, and with that, a fragile form of normalcy was resumed.

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Agura was running. Her eyes stung with angry tears, and her legs carried her blindly on. It was hot, and the sun burned brightly down on her, getting closer with each step, but she hardly felt it as her feet slowed, having automatically found her destination. This had been her favorite spot when she was younger, and she still came to it to escape. When her mother just got to be too much, or her siblings were overwhelming, she simply left. She could be alone here, at the top of the cliff, the world her oyster, the Atlantic Ocean in full view. Agura used to dream that someday she would escape; stare out across the landscape and daydream about her new life. It was the one place she truly felt free, and it was the one place she could stand to be considering what had just happened. She collapsed onto her knees, assuming a cross-legged position and staring out, tears on her face. Soon she detected another person coming up behind her.

"Father." She said coldly, and in a few moments he was at her side.

"I thought I would find you here." He said quietly, sitting down.

"What do you want?" She demanded shakily, wiping the tears from her face. She would not be seen as weak.

"To talk." He replied calmly. "You are unhappy."

"How observant of you." She said with biting sarcasm.

"Your attitude is not becoming of you." He responded. English was not her father's first language, but he spoke it with grace and formality. "You are a princess. You are expected to handle this with maturity and dignity, and you caused a scene in front of your entire family. It is disrespectful."

"I don't want to be a princess, dad, and why should I care?" Agura snapped.

"Wrong. Argue with composure and reason." Her father stated.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Agura managed, beginning to tear up.

"No. Tell me what is wrong." Mr. Ibaden said gently. Agura was shocked; her father, a man of action rather than words, rarely spoke. An invitation to start a conversation was scarce.

"What's wrong?" Agura turned to face her father with fire in her eyes. "I don't want to be a princess, I don't want to be forced into marriage, and I don't want my mother controlling my life!"

"You cannot control that you are of royal blood. This is you responsibility."

"You're not helping, dad!" Agura snapped. "Marriage shouldn't be a responsibility. I want to marry someone I _love_."

"But you said you do not love anyone. Why is this such a problem?" Her father asked in confusion.

"It's…it's complicated, dad." Agura buried her head in her hands. "Please…just leave."

"Agura…" Her father lifted her chin, forcing her to stare into his eyes. "Do you love someone?" He asked seriously, and for the briefest of moments Agura almost considered telling him the truth.

"Look, I just don't want to get married now, okay?" Agura ignored him. "I'm only seventeen! Why not Halla?"

Her father paused.

"Agura, I have always believed in telling you the truth. Do you want to hear it now?" He asked seriously, and she nodded. "Halla is…not ready, for such a serious relationship. I know that you are mature and responsible enough to handle it, and that is why I chose you."

Agura was lost for words.

"You…_you_ chose me? _You_ set this up?" She began slowly, hurt in her eyes. "I thought you were on my side!"

"_Bindi_, I am-"

"No." Agura stood up, shaking her head fiercely. "No, you're not. Don't even call me that. How could you?" She demanded, tears stinging her eyes. "Both of you are ruining my life!"

"Agura!" Her father said sharply.

"Leave me _alone_!" She cried, turning her shoulder and sprinting away from the cliff, away from him, away from everything. He had ruined her favorite spot; just like that. There was nowhere else to go. Her breath burned in her throat, and her legs ached, but still she ran, finally just collapsing onto hot sand and dialing a number through blurry eyes.

"Mmf…Hello?"

_Thank God._

"Agura?"

"H-hi Vert." She managed.

"Agura, you know I love you, but it's like, three in the morning." Vert groaned, and then let out a chuckle. "Ironic, huh?"

_Oh my God. I'm turning into my mother._

Agura couldn't help it; she let out a sob.

"Agura? Are you okay?"

"N-no." She choked out. "No, I'm not, Vert, everything sucks."

"Why? What's wrong?" His voice, though groggy, held a note of concern.

"M-my mother. She…" Agura took a deep breath. "She wants me to get married, Vert."

There was silence. And then…

"Oh. My. God."

"Yeah."

"Do you know who?" He asked anxiously.

"No." Agura shamefully shook her head. "I kind of…ran out."

Another silence.

"I'm coming over there." Vert said firmly, and her heart leapt into her throat.

"Vert-"

"She can't make you do that, Agura. I love you, and I'm not letting you get forced into marrying someone you don't love." He spoke with such conviction that she almost believed he could do it.

"Vert, you can't."

"Why not?" He was determined now.

"Because…I didn't tell my parents about us." She whispered.

"You…what?" Vert sounded hurt, and she wanted to cry even harder.

"They've ruined everything, Vert. I feel like my parents run my life sometimes. I just…wanted something for myself. Everything was going so perfectly, and…I didn't want it to crumble." She whispered.

"Agura, I know you and your parents don't get along, but-"

"You don't get it, then." She snapped. "They are ruining my _life_, Vert. I have to get _married_. Can we talk about me not telling them later?"

"Fine." He sighed. "Wow. This is bad."

"No freaking duh!" Agura exclaimed. "Vert…what do I do?"

"Have you tried talking to them?"

"My dad just tried." Agura rolled her eyes. "Don't even ask."

"Just…Agura, I really think you should tell them about us. Then you have a reason to not get married."

"Maybe." She bit her lip. "I think I'll go back. Maybe at least talk about it a little more."

"Good. Maybe you can change their minds." Vert suggested, and she snorted.

"Yeah, wish me luck."

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go back to bed, so…." Vert yawned, and she clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Oh my God! I totally forgot! Sorry!" Agura winced.

"It's okay." Vert half-lied. "A crisis is a crisis. Night."

"Night." She smiled, ending the call. Agura slowly stood; her home in sight. She groaned in frustration and began walking.

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"Gura!" Halla drove out of the garage just before she entered the house, and Agura sighed in relief. "You don't want to go in their just yet, _msichana._" **(Girl)**

"Where are we going?" Agura asked as she got into the car.

"The mall." Halla replied, and Agura groaned. "_Food court_." Halla added with a roll of her eyes. "I believe in comfort food."

"Thanks." Agura sighed, and soon they arrived. Halla immediately purchased two cinnabons and set them on the table.

"Now," She began, "Be perfectly honest; what happens at the rage-sesh stays here."

"I don't want to get married, our mother is a control freak, our father is no help at all and expects me to be mature about this, and in total I hate my life and wish I had never come back." Agura took a deep breath.

"Okay." Halla murmured thoughtfully. "Jet home? Disown yourself? Ooh! Whoever this kid is, make him hate you!"

"All great ideas…" Agura rolled her eyes. "Seriously, what am I going to do?"

"I don't know." Halla admitted. "How did it go with dad?"

"Terrible. I wish he would just stay silent." Agura huffed. "Turns out, _he's_ the one who set this whole thing up!"

"No!" Halla gasped. "It wasn't mom?"

"No! Can you believe that? And he told me I should be a 'mature, perfect little princess'." Agura mocked. "News flash dad, I _hate_ that I'm a princess. I wish I could just leave."

"Well…why don't you?" Halla said slowly.

"I wish." Agura sighed. "They would never forgive me."

"That's what you said when you left for that job in America. Look what happened." Halla shrugged.

"This is different. I'm not just leaving, I'm running away. I'm betraying my family." Agura said bitterly.

"I guess…" Halla trailed off. "We'll call it plan B."

Agura had to snicker at that, but Halla's face quickly grew pale.

"Oh, my God…what about Vert?"

Agura buried her face in her hands.

"I don't know…"

"Well, do you love him?" Halla asked seriously.

"Yes." Agura nodded.

"Then you can't marry someone else! You have to tell mom and dad about him." Halla convinced.

"No." Agura shook her head. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Halla sighed in exasperation.

"Because, he's mine, and I don't want them to spoil it!" Agura snapped. Halla sighed again.

"You're going to have to tell them eventually." She said.

"And I'm waiting until we elope." Agura said firmly.

"You should try talking to them." Halla suggested. "Maybe you can work something out."

"Yeah, maybe _you_ can marry him." Agura shot.

"Whoa…sis, I love you, but…that's a lot to ask." Halla held her hands up defensively, and Agura sighed.

"I know…I was kind of kidding."

"Come on." Halla grabbed Agura's untouched cinnabon and took a bite out of it. "Let's go home."

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"Okay, remember, apologize first. She'll go easier on you." Halla instructed Agura as they pulled into the garage.

"Right, fine." Agura sighed. "She was opposite of looking forward to this.

"Hey mom, we're home!" Halla called cheerily as they walked in.

"Oh." Mrs. Ibaden looked up. "Hello Halla. Agura." She said stiffly.

"Hey mom." Agura stepped forward. "I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. I was upset, and I didn't mean it." She inwardly rolled her eyes as Halla gave her a thumbs up, sneaking out of the kitchen.

"Oh, honey, I'm so glad." Mrs. Ibaden eagerly hugged her.

"But I still don't want to get married." Agura added firmly, and her mother winced.

"Well, sweetie, you don't exactly have a choice." She bit her lip, and then a flash of inspiration crossed her face. "At least meet him! We're flying over to see their family tomorrow; he seems like a very nice boy."

"Wait…flying over?" Agura narrowed her eyes. "Which country is he from, exactly?"

"Oh, somewhere over in the U.K., not important really, it's _such_ a lovely country, dear, you'll love it, and it will be great for the family!" Her mother babbled on, oblivious to Agura's dismay. "Oh! Honey, you should go pack; we'll be staying with them for a few days."

"Mom, I don't _want_ to stay with him. I don't even want to get married!" She reminded, and her father's words crossed her mind.

_Argue with composure and reason._

"I mean, with my job, it would be really difficult to keep a long-distance relationship. It just isn't practical for me to be married at my age-"

"We'll work it out, honey." Her mother cut her off, obviously in no mood to hear it. "Now go pack!"

"Fine." Agura huffed.

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"Hey you." Halla appeared in her doorway. Because everybody slept in the loft, all of the girls stored their clothes in one room, and the boys in another. "How'd it go?"

"Don't ask." Agura groaned. "I'm flying over to some country Mom can't even remember tomorrow to meet the guy. She barely even heard a word I said."

"Ouch." Halla winced. "There's always plan B. Can I help you pack?"

"No, I'm going as frumpy as possible. I don't want to risk attracting this guy." Agura scoffed.

"Oh yeah…that reminds me…" Halla bit her lip. "Mom kind of…bought you something for the occasion…"

"No." Agura gasped, terrible memories of clothing flying through her mind at rapid speed.

"Yes." Halla nodded slowly. "I'll get it." She ducked out and reappeared just as fast, holding the atrocity up.

"Oh, God." Agura buried her face in her hands. The dress was truly horrible; a mess of bright, tribal printed fabric, with puffy sleeves and layers of material and beads strung along. It was cream white, and the brown pattern gave the illusion that mud had been tracked across it. The skirt puffed out, supported by layers of tulle that went all the way to the floor.

"I know." Halla said grimly.

"I can't possibly wear that." Agura stated.

"Maybe not like this…" Halla flourished a pair of scissors.

"Seriously?" Agura laughed.

"Why not? I've taken a few design classes, and we can both sew. It's not like we're gonna make it any worse." Halla pointed out, and Agura shrugged.

"Why not?" She grabbed a second pair of scissors from the dresser, and they hung the monstrosity up.

"Okay. Let's start with this horrid tutu." Halla decided, pinning up the very top layer of the dress and attacking the mesh tulle underneath. The girls had it removed in no time, and then set to the sleeves, which were at first de-puffed, and then one was cut off entirely, turning it into an off-the-shoulder design. The strings of beads were snipped off too, leaving only minor stitching along the neckline.

"I think we're getting somewhere here." Halla announced, looking at the newly remodeled sheath. "Just a few more things…" She bit her lip in thought, and then took her scissors to the dress, slicing the bottom half off in a jagged, diagonal line.

"Halla!" Agura exclaimed, watching the fabric fall to the floor. "It's way too short now."

"Go try it on." Her sister said devilishly, and Agura looked dubiously at the dress. The poofs had been removed, leaving it a sleek, strapless number. The print now seemed not so much overwhelming as flattering, and the jagged slit gave it an edge.

"Alright…" She shrugged, taking the dress into the bathroom. She was surprised to find that it was actually her size, and fit comfortably.

"Okay, happy?" She stepped back into the bedroom, putting a hand on her hip. Halla was silent.

"Well? See, I told you it would be bad-"

"It's _not_ bad." Halla said slowly. "Rotate." She instructed, twirling her finger in a circle, and Agura complied.

"Wow." Halla said simply.

"Wow what?" Agura narrowed her eyes.

"Wow, you and I should start an alteration shop!" Halla squealed, spinning her around to view a mirror. "Look!" Agura faced the full-length hesitantly. She had never liked dress, in fact, downright hated them, and hadn't worn one since her First Communion (even then she had changed the second they stepped out of church). They were too girly, uncomfortable, never fit her right, and just looked ridiculous. But for some reason, not this one. It fit her perfectly, not too tightly but tight enough to flatter, and the jagged slit came up to exactly the right spot on her thigh. The one-shouldered neckline gave made it seem sophisticated and modest, and the print and colors seemed to flatter her skin tone and bring out the caramel in her eyes.

"Wow." She admitted.

"Aren't you glad you have an older sister?" Halla beamed. "I used to have to wear these things!"

"Thank you." Agura hugged her tightly.

"Here, let me take a pic." Halla grabbed Agura's phone, and Agura turned to her side, put a hand to her mouth, biting her fingernail and making a face as if to say 'Who, me?' in a mock attempt at seduction. Halla widened her eyes and snapped the photo, showing it to Agura.

"You look like a freakin' Victoria's Secret model." She huffed in jealousy, and Agura had to laugh, but stopped abruptly when she saw the picture. "Let's send it to Vert!" Halla cheered.

"No." Agura said immediately. "I, I mean, I can't leave him at home all horny without me." She laughed, and Halla nodded.

"That poor boy; of course not." She smiled, typing on the phone.

"Halla…" Agura warned.

"Relax." Halla waved her hand in the air carefreely.

"Halla!" Agura tackled her sister, and Halla lunged away, just managing to hit send before Agura snatched it back.

"_Kuilaa ni, _Halla!" She snapped. **(Censored XD) **Agura's native tongue tended to slip out when she was angry, especially at home.

"Oh come on, you gotta keep the boy entertained!" Halla laughed. "And you watch your mouth, _msichana."_ She waggled a disapproving finger, but a text from Vert popped up before Agura could say any more.

"Oooooooh!" Halla teased as she watched Agura scan the message and blush. "Someone's gonna tap thaaaaaat!"

"Shut up." Agura grumbled, grabbing her clothes. "I'm gonna change."

"Don't be mad!" Halla pleaded. "I'm only trying to keep your relationship alive!"

"One of us won't be alive for much longer if you keep it up!" Agura called cheerily, and shut the door before her sister could respond.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Wow, isn't this exciting?" Mrs. Ibaden babbled as she and Agura were dropped off outside of a massive palace. The architecture was beautiful, and whatever country this was they certainly had impressive tax rates, not that Agura cared. She was _not_ going to marry whoever it was, and she was _not_ moving into this castle.

"Yup." Agura replied automatically; she had been stuck with her mother for not only the five hour plane ride but the taxi, too, and even though Halla had begged and pleaded, she hadn't been able to convince their mother to let her tag along. Agura had managed to tune out most of the things her mother had said, but the fact that she was still irritated with her only made the trip that much longer. They passed through security, her mother talking all the way.

"You know, yesterday was the Queen's birthday." She continued. "You should say something."

"Okay."

"She's a very nice lady; we've been having several conversations lately-"

"Oh, you mean about the marriage I didn't have a choice in?" Agura couldn't resist the jibe, and her mother stiffened.

"_Yes_, but also about her son. He's in line for the throne, you know."

"Oh is he?" Agura murmured, feigning interest as they approached a regal-looking set of doors.

"Yes, hundred and eighty-ninth I believe…" Her mother said thoughtfully. "Oh, here we are!" She exclaimed in delight, inspecting the mahogany entrance.

"Wait, a hundred and eighty-ninth?" Agura's heart stopped. "What country did you say we were in?" She gripped her mother's arm in panic.

"Close your mouth, honey, and smile now!" Her mother instructed cheerily as she swung the door open, completely ignoring Agura's distress.

"Mother, I told you, I don't want to be-…" An arrogant, British voice trailed off as the doors swung open. "Oh my God…" The familiar-looking redhead froze as his eyes met the pair.

"Stanford?" Agura's jaw hit the floor. She didn't want to believe it; but there he was.

"Agura?" The Brit gaped even wider. "What are you doing here?" Agura was so stunned it took her a moment to reply.

"I think…I'm supposed to marry you."


	4. Well That's Just Stantastic

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! (P.S. Congrats to those who figured out the groom-to-be) Another longish chapter, but oh well! I'm thinking that besides just being a crazy rom-com, this will focus a big deal on Vergura as well, because, you know, it's me. XD So this chapter is mostly taken up by a big Vergura flashback that I hope you squee about as many times reading as I did writing it :) On another note, I will be MIA for about a week, but I wanted to put this up for everyone, so it isn't perfect, (I'm **_**still **_**debating whether or not to put so much Vergura in, so let me know what you think) but I hope you like it.**

Stanford and Agura exchanged a look that could only be described as horrific, shocked confusion.

"Oh, how _wonderful_!" Mrs. Ibaden, the first to break the awful silence, squealed in excitement. "You two _know_ each other!"

"We don't know each other." Agura cut in before Stanford could speak. "I just…uhm, recognized him. From a magazine."

"Yes, and my mother told me about her." To Agura's immense relief, Stanford played along. "It's uh, very nice to meet you."

"You too." Agura responded automatically, already practicing her panicked call in the bathroom to Halla.

"Well, this is just lovely." Stanford's mother stood. The queen was a pale, elegant woman, with a few strands of gray hair in her overall blonde bun and Stanford's green eyes. "I'm so glad you two were able to meet. Would you be so kind as to join us in the dining hall for supper?"

"We would love to, wouldn't we dear?" Mrs. Ibaden turned to her daughter, and Agura forced a smile, noticing how much more formal her mother had become in the queen's presence. "Just give us a moment to freshen up." Mrs. Ibaden added hastily, noticing how their comfortable airport sweats clashed with the Victorian décor.

"Oh, of course." The queen clapped twice. "Eric will show you to your room." A butler appeared, wordlessly taking their suitcases and gesturing for them to follow him.

"Oh, Agura, isn't it grand?" Her mother exclaimed as they surveyed their room. It was indeed grand, with an impressive Victorian air and even a balcony. Agura opened her suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans.

"It's great Mom." She said robotically; still trying to recover from shock.

_Stanford. I'm marrying Stanford._

"Oh, no no no! You are not wearing jeans to a formal dinner at the royal _palace_!" Her mother exclaimed in disgust. "Go put on that dress I bought you." She demanded, and Agura sighed. Her mother came off as a ditz, but when she set her mind to it the woman was determined and stubborn as a mule.

"Okay." She listlessly agreed, taking her phone along with the altered dress and slipping into the bathroom.

_I have to spend the rest of my life with Stanford._

"C'mon, Halla, answer…" She drummed her fingers impatiently on the counter.

_I have to 'produce an heir' with STANFORD!_

"Hey hey hey! You just missed Halla, but I'll be 'back girl'! Leave a mess-"

Agura jammed her fingernail into the end button. Even her sister's clever message recording (which, years ago, they had spent an entire night staying up and trying to perfect) couldn't ease the panic she felt. She tried another number.

"Hello?"

"Vert, thank God-"

"Agura! Hey, how's it going? You called at a normal hour!"

"Yeah, great," Agura rushed out, checking her watch quickly. "Look, I just-"

"Are you over there already? Did you meet the guy yet? How was your mom on the flight?" Vert chuckled.

"Her usual self, but that's not what I'm trying to tell you-"

"You should have pretended to be asleep! That's what I always did-"

"Vert!" Agura snapped.

"What?" Her boyfriend, her poor, wonderful, about-to-receive-the-shock-of-his-life boyfriend, asked innocently.

"It's Stanford."

There was silence, and then, a clatter.

"Vert?"

Scrabbling noises.

"Vert?" Agura worried. _Had he fainted?_

"Oh…my God."

"Vert! Don't scare me like that! Especially not at a time like this!" She snapped.

"I dropped the freaking phone!" Vert exclaimed. "Stanford! Of all the princes in the wor-in the MULTIVERSE, IT HAD TO BE _STANFORD_! Our Stanford!" He raged, and Agura heard the sound of something shattering.

"Vert…" She soothed, hoping it wasn't anything valuable.

"Okay, now I'm _definitely_ coming over there." He said firmly.

"No! Our parents don't think Stanford and I know each other!" Agura said quickly.

"Okay, did you even tell your parents a _thing_ since you joined the BF5?" Vert demanded.

"I….well….no." Agura admitted, and he sighed.

"Agura-"

"Okay, I know I don't have the best relationship with them, but you don't understand!" She hissed quietly, so her mother wouldn't hear.

"I understand that for a good portion of my life I didn't even _have_ parents, and that I wish you would appreciate yours a little more." He said pointedly, surprising Agura with his cool tone so badly that she couldn't even think of a way to reply.

"Sorry." He said eventually. "I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. I'm sorry too." She responded, glad to end the uncomfortable silence. "We've really got to stop fighting during my life crisises, huh?" Agura joked in an effort to ease the tension.

"Probably." He chuckled, and she sighed in relief.

"It's only cause you're too good at making me a better person." She pretended to laugh, but meant every word. Vert did make her a better person; he had helped her through her constant obsession with control. With a mother like hers, Agura had never felt like she had any, and that had manifested into an almost neurotic obsession with it until finally, one day, he had stepped in. She remembered it all too well; they had stayed up all night working through glitches in a new training program, something that was certainly more up Sherman's alley but they had wished to correct it themselves all the same.

"Man, is it late." Vert had yawned as she scribbled furiously away on a sheet of paper. Every glitch, every problem, written down for further examination. "Or should I say early?" Vert corrected himself upon checking the time. There was no response from his second-in-command, and he sighed, trying a less subtle approach.

"Hey, Agura, it's like two in the morning. Wanna just finish tomorrow?" He suggested. The poor blonde had been dropping hints since the clock struck eleven, and simply couldn't understand why she had chosen to stay up, obsessing over every little detail.

"Almost done." She muttered, still hunched over the paper. Agura was in fact far from done; she had these bugs to correct, then test the program, then correct those bugs and run it again, in a never-ending cycle of perfection.

"You've been saying that since midnight." Vert groaned jokingly. "Come on; we can do this tomorrow and push the debut date back."

"No, we can't. We said it would be ready, and it will be." She found herself snapping. "We can't just change the entire schedule." This fact was practically gnawing at her nerves; when given a schedule the huntress clung to it like a lifestyle. The very idea of changing everything, the weeks of training they had planned out all falling to pieces, was enough to send her into a state of panic, and she worked with increased vigor, as if her efforts could stop it all from crumbling. Her mind was set on it now, and she was driven by pure compulsion. An interruption would probably send her into hysteria, and she fought to keep her emotions from her well-meaning leader.

"Agura…it's just a program. The team won't mind." Vert said slowly, examining her closely. She turned away, continuing to write as the letters grew smaller and more smudged. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine; just tired." She responded automatically. Why share your feelings when you've worked so hard and so long to hide them?

"Then go to bed." Vert laughed. "Seriously, this is crazy. We've been up for hours!"

"You can sleep. I have to finish this." She said firmly, finishing her writing and moving to the computer to reprogram the bugs.

"Well I'm not just gonna leave you here at this hour." Vert said, equally firm, as he followed her to the computer. She ignored him, holding the notepad in one hand and typing furiously at the blue keys with the other. "Can you just tell me why this is so important?"

Agura pretended not to have heard him, her fingers moving faster and faster, flying across the keyboard as if she could simply work the question away.

"Hey." Vert grabbed her hand tightly, stopping her frenzied state. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"I…I just have to do this." She managed, trying to free herself. "Just one more minute." She found herself pleading.

"No. It's late, and we're both exhausted." Vert shook his head, beginning to suspect from the desperation in her voice that something was seriously wrong. He pulled her gently towards their rooms. "Come on." Agura was panicking; she felt as if the very walls were closing in. She had to get to that computer, had to finish, had to stay in control.

"_No_." She surprised even herself, ripping her hand from his and making for the keyboard, typing faster than ever. It was like it was calling to her, as if everything would just fall apart if she didn't finish.

_Just do this now, and you can keep control. Everything will be fine. Just finish typing, run the program, and fix it again. You can do it. Just keep control and don't let him stop you._

"Agura, this isn't healthy." Vert stopped her again, stepping between Agura and the keyboard with concern in his eyes.

"Please." She managed to overcome the sense of panic that was drowning her, threatening to topple the composure that now seemed built out of cards. "Just one more-"

"No." He said quietly, and he took her in his arms. It was a small action, hardly able to compensate for the mental anguish he was causing her, but just for a brief second, in the shock that came with him holding her tightly to his chest, Agura could feel it all melt away. The sense of panic, the craving for closure, to be able to say that yes, she had full control over this project…it was just gone. Vanished. She sighed in pure relief, allowing herself to lean against him just the slightest and thinking, for the first time, that maybe she couldn't do everything on her own.

"Agura." Vert said her name quietly, and she knew the question that was coming. His arms held her close, her head resting against his chest, and she didn't want to wreck the precious safety with her answer.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

She sighed, this time not so much in relief, but heavier, a sigh of sadness. She wanted to forget the sad things, to just stay there in his arms forever, safe and secure. Protected.

"I don't know." She finally spoke, and he rubbed the small of her back in slow, comforting circles.

"I just...have this impulse." She began carefully. "Everything has to be perfect, in order. It's this constant feeling that if something isn't under control...everything will crumble, and I hate it, but at the same time, I don't know what I would do without it." Agura took a deep breath.

"And so I have to keep it under control, make sure everything is perfect, alphabetized and color-coded." She allowed the small joke, and then sighed. "I know...it sounds crazy. But I never had much control growing up, and that just boiled and churned until I felt like I had to control everything, and until I can, I have this terrible, panicky feeling inside, like I'm crawling out of my skin, and everything is falling apart around me." Agura bit her lip. She had never truly opened up to anyone about her problem...her condition. She was ashamed. What would Vert think of her? What would he say?

"I don't think it sounds crazy." Her leader said quietly. "But I do think you shouldn't let it run your life."

"There's nothing I can do. It doesn't go away, Vert. It _never_. _Stops_." She whispered, and for a moment, he was silent, his next words confusing her.

"Thank you."

"What?" Agura looked up to him in confusion.

"Agura, I've known you for a long time." Vert began. "And I always thought there was something...different about you. Something you were hiding; a wall that you had up." He said. "The way you always unpack the groceries before anyone else can put them away, or alphabetically sort Spinner's collection of video games. The way the plates come out of the dishwasher in ROY G BIV order every morning, or how your room is always spotless. The way you act when something goes wrong." Vert paused.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you. For telling me."

"Oh." Agura was surprised. She had poured out her darkest, most buried secrets, and he was _thanking_ her? Just for sharing?

"Thank you for listening." She surprised herself by saying. "No one has ever...cared." Her voice cracked.

"I care." Vert said instantly, firm and resolute. He released his grip on her to stare her straight in the face. "I can promise you that I care. And I..." He paused. "I want to help. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. We can have a sort of...partnership." He said awkwardly, and Agura gasped when she realized what he meant.

"Like..." She guided him on, desperate to hear the words.

"Like a relationship." He said quietly. "I'd like to date you, Agura, if that's okay. I think I can help, or at least, I want to try."

She was quiet, overwhelmed by the sudden declaration, when she realized he was waiting for a response.

"I'd like that. Really." She smiled, and suddenly there it was again, that burning, consuming need to complete the program. "I just need one-"

"No." Vert shook his head. "We'll finish it tomorrow. In the morning. We will find a way to stay on schedule, and everything will be fine." He said firmly, and though it would be some time before Agura could fully accept statements such as this, she was at least calmed. But her hands still shook, the need for control still coursed through her, and every cell was screaming to run and finish. But Vert held his arm around her tightly as he led her to her bedroom, and she was forced to take a deep breath and believe him when he said it would be okay. She opened her door, and he followed as she shot him a questioning look.

"I said you wouldn't have to go through this on your own." He explained, as she slowly and unsurely lay down on her side, wondering what he had in mind. To Agura's great relief, Vert simply lay down behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist and holding her close. Again that feeling of safety and protection filled her, and she sighed happily, managing to ignore the anxiety long enough to drift off into sleep.

They went like this for some time. The anxiety never truly left, and sometimes would come back in massive, brutal attacks that left her shaking and broken, crumbled by compulsion. The attacks were somewhat better now, before she had felt as if mere footprints on a floor she had just swept could trigger a launch of anxiety, but now Vert knew to look out for these things. It was truly amazing to her, how he could watch what was happening through her eyes and be able to offer the perfect form of comfort. For the little things he would simply come to her side and squeeze her hand, for the larger, he would guide her away from the room. It was these times when she needed him most, just to hold her and stop her and tell her everything would be alright, that sometimes it was okay to lose control, and she loved him terribly for it, more than she could ever admit.

"Agura?"

"What? Oh, sorry." Vert's voice snapped her out of the daydream and back into reality.

"I just asked if you were okay. You know, with all that's going on." He explained.

"Oh." In truth, the total loss of control hadn't occurred to her since the episode on the cliff. "Actually, I think I'm doing alright. It's kind of all been too much of a blur."

"Oh." Vert sounded almost disappointed. "Well, that's good for you, I guess." He said dejectedly, and Agura realized what was wrong.

"Vert, I still need you, you know that, right?" She asked slowly, and he sighed.

"I know, it's just…I feel so helpless! You're getting married, to Stanford for crying out loud, and I'm stuck over here. I should be there for you-"

"You _are_ there for me. By keeping the Zones secure and Sage safe." Agura said firmly. "They need you there, and I can handle this."

"You sure?" He asked worriedly.

"Vert, you're a better boyfriend than anyone could ask for." She laughed and assured him. "I gotta go change, but I'll call you-"

"Not into that dress you sent me a pic of, right?" Vert asked suspiciously. "Because no way are you looking that hot for freaking Stanford." He cursed under his breath. "_Stanford. GOD."_

"Okay, well, technically you weren't even supposed to get it, my sister stole my phone and sent it, and although I do appreciate the compliment, my mother is making me wear it."

"Your mom wants you to wear _that_ dress to a formal _dinner_?" Vert sounded incredulous.

"Okay, not with the exact pose and expression I sent it to you with, but yes. Oh, and she kind of thinks it was a different dress entirely." Agura said quickly.

"How exactly-"

"Minor alterations." Agura explained, and Vert chuckled.

"Good; I almost flew over right then and there just to see it in person."

"_Just_ to see it, huh?" Agura grinned knowingly.

"Well, maybe do a few other things…" Vert teased. "Agh, come back! I miss you."

"I know you miss a few things." Agura laughed.

"I GET LONELY." Vert defended. "Hey, I gotta go before someone hears me."

"Ugh. Fine. Call you later." Agura sighed.

"I recorded Dance Moms for you!" He added in an effort to cheer her up. "Maddie-"

"Don't tell me!" Agura laughed. "Wait, did you watch it already? I thought you said you didn't like that show! You complain every time I turn it on."

"I…I just saw it in the preview!" Vert tried to defend himself, but she was already giggling.

"I _knew_ you liked it! Watch it again with me when I get back?"

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do." He cooed pretentiously. It was one of their favorite things to do, make fun of happy-sappy-lovey-dovey couples. "Alright, I gotta go. Love you!"

"You too." Agura instinctively blew a kiss, then realized he wasn't there to see it. She sighed, and it quickly turned into a groan of exasperation.

_Stanford. Of all people._ She growled, wriggling into the dress and pulling out her hair, pinning it so that it was half up and half down, which at least made her mane look somewhat tame.

"Oh, Agura!" Her mother clasped her hands together in adoration as she stepped out of the master bathroom. "You look absolutely beautiful!"

"Thanks Mom." Agura replied with a smile.

"Except…this looks different from the dress I bought…" Her mother muttered suspiciously, eying the thigh-high slit with concern. "Maybe it isn't so appropriate for a dinner. Why don't you wear a skirt instead?" She suggested, making it clear that she thought the skirt should be slit-free and ankle-long.

"Whatever." Agura rolled her eyes, opening her suitcase yet again. They finally settled on a blouse Mrs. Ibaden has purchased (and mascara, to Agura's chagrin). Eric, the butler, was waiting outside the door, and took them down to the dining room, where Stanford and his parents were already sitting. Agura was guided to her seat at the massive mahogany table, of which only the end five seats were taken up. Stanford's father, a somewhat short, squat man with Stanford's red hair, sat at the end, the queen at his side and then Stanford. Agura was about to sit down when she realized that the royal family was looking up at her expectantly.

"Uhm, your Majesties." She curtsied awkwardly, taking a seat opposite her 'prince', her mother at her side. She looked down at her plate in dismay; there were at least six different forks lined up, and what etiquette her mother had managed to whip into her was rusty at best.

"Oh, Princess Agura, please! No need for such formality!" The Queen clapped her hands together, making Agura wince at the stiffness of what she had almost forgotten was her title. "Please, call me Sophia. After all, we'll be like family soon, no?"

"Of course." Agura smiled weakly. "Sophia."

"And this is my husband, King Steven." 'Sophia,' as Agura would certainly have trouble calling the regal woman, introduced. The King grunted.

"Your Majesty, please." He raised a gruff hand, and Sophia winced as Agura began to seriously wonder if arrogance was an inheritable trait.

"And of course, this is my son-" The queen was about to introduce Stanford when someone came barreling through the dining hall doors.

"Oh dear. Did I miss the party?"

_Just when I thought this couldn't get any worse._ Agura groaned, wishing she could sink to the floor.

"Ello, love." The young man grinned smugly at her.

For there stood none other than-

"Simon Ian Rhodes. The second, mind you. Hundred and eighty-_eighth _in line for the throne." He said pointedly at Stanford, swooping in to kiss her hand. "Such a pleasure to finally meet little Stannie's soon-to-be!" Agura managed to avoid wiping her hand off on the silk tablecloth.

"The pleasure is mine." She forced herself to say.

"Say…" Simon looked at her closely. "You look mighty familiar, love. Have we met?" Stanford and Agura exchanged a worried glance. If he recognized her as one of Stanford's "butlers", they were in big trouble.

"Weren't you in that racing movie?" She blurted out, knowing that no Rhodes (except for maybe Sophia) could resist an opportunity to talk about themself.

"Why, I certainly was! Fantastic little action flick. Fast cars, beautiful women…who could ask for more?" He winked, and despite her disgust, Agura sighed in relief. _Hook, line and sinker._

"Simon, please. We were just about to enjoy a lovely dinner. Care to join us?" Sophia asked, and Simon nodded.

"Of course! What's our dear chef Edgar cooking up today?" Simon slid into the seat next to Agura, and she stiffened. Stanford actually paused from his glaring to shoot her an apologetic look.

"Chef Edmond." Sophia corrected her son.

"Whatever." Simon shrugged.

"Seared duck, I believe." Sophia added.

"Seared duck? Bleagh." Simon stuck out his tongue.

"Well, I'm sure he can make something else for you, dear!" Sophia said quickly, and Stanford shot Agura a nauseated look, which made her stifle laughter.

"Ignore him." The King said gruffly. "A real man needs to learn to eat duck."

"I am a real man, daddy, now go and tell Edgar to make me some mac and cheese!" Simon whined.

**A/N: Couldn't resist.**

"_Edmond_." Stanford muttered stiffly, but the aside went unnoticed.

"Oh, Simon, don't make a fuss, I'll go tell him right now!" Sophia stood, her elaborate gown swaying (and making Mrs. Ibaden, who was dressed in a simple skirt and blouse, green with envy) as she hurried to the kitchen. Stanford shot Agura a look that practically screamed 'What did I tell you?' just before she returned.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Stanford, Agura, why don't you two get to know each other a bit?" Sophia beamed, and Agura nearly choked on her water. After two years of doing laundry for the boys, she knew more about Stanford (not to mention the others) than she cared to admit.

"Of course." Stanford cut in. "Uhm, how was your flight, princess?" He asked uncomfortably, knowing full well Agura would sock him if he had called her that in any situation other than this one.

"Quite nice, thank you." She nodded, equally formal. Sophia and Nairi exchanged positive smiles, as if her answer had been equivalent to 'I do.' Satisfied that their work was done, the two mothers quickly made conversation.

"So, Prince Stanford," Agura began slowly. "This is a magnificent palace."

"Oh, it is, isn't it?" Simon cut in. "I mean, I've lived here my whole life, and I _still_ think it's grand!"

"Right…" Agura held her tongue.

"Simon, why don't you go boil your head or something?" Stanford hissed quietly, in order to avoid Sophia's repercussion.

"But I'm having such a lovely time!" Simon slung an arm around Agura casually.

"Oh, Simon, let's not forget who I'm supposed to marry." Agura chuckled with an undertone of don't-make-me-knee-you as she removed his arm.

"Ooh, she's a feisty one." Simon winked at Stanford. "Fine, fine, I'll leave you two to converse." He rolled his eyes, making for the kitchen double doors.

"Edgar! That mac and cheese had better be Velveeta!"

Agura gave Stanford a look.

"I told you all along that he was mummy's little favorite." The Brit defended.

"That's all you have to _say?"_ Agura hissed. Sure, his brother was a jerk, but they were getting married! Mountains and molehills, Stanford!

"You know, dinner won't be ready for some time now." Sophia leaned in. "Stanford, be a dear and show Princess Agura around the palace?"

"Just Agura is fine, please." Agura cut in. She had never liked the sound of her official title.

"Good idea Mum!" Stanford stood up immediately. "Come on, princess." He half-dragged Agura down the hallway. "We have a _lot_ to talk about."


	5. Dinner & Ducks

"We'll be safe out here." Stanford guided her through a set of doors that opened up into an outdoor balcony that faced the royal gardens.

"Alright, I would like to start this little conference with a firm WTF." Agura said, sitting on a stone bench. The view over the palace grounds was lovely, and if not for the situation, Agura would have had time to appreciate it.

"Fair enough. I wish to retort with the fact that I had _no idea _about any of this." Stanford added.

"I ditto your statement." Agura sighed, dropping the mockingly formal air of the conversation.

"You didn't either?" Stanford looked to her in surprise.

"Nope." Agura shook her head. "I literally flew in two days ago, found out about my arranged marriage yesterday, and discovered it was to _you_ about…" She checked her watch. "Forty minutes earlier."

"Harsh." Stanford summed up, and she nodded.

"How long did you know?"

"That I was getting married? Since I left the Hub, so about two weeks." Stanford answered, and Agura remembered that he had been called away for some 'family business'. "That it was you? Same forty minutes."

"You knew you were getting married for _two weeks?!_ Why didn't you tell any of us?" Agura asked, and Stanford shrugged.

"I dunno. It was kind of hard to wrap my own head around, to be honest." He said, and there was a short silence.

"Do…do we need to talk about this?" Agura asked quietly, and Stanford looked to her in interest. "Because, I mean, you know that I'm dating Vert, and…"

"And?" Stanford raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I like you, Stanford, sometimes anyway, but not like that! Actually, it's not so much I like you as I can tolerate you…More like an annoying little brother…" Agura pondered. "Can we just be clear on the fact that we have a love/hate friendship and don't want to marry each other?"

"Oh my God! Yes!" Stanford exclaimed in relief, examining her closely. "You didn't really think-"

"No! No, I totally didn't, I just wanted to be sure-"

"Okay, good, because that would have been really awkward-"

"Oh for sure! And especially with Vert, and we're all on the same team-"

"Absolutely. Glad we dodged that bullet-"

"Me too, obviously-"

"I mean, it's not that you're like, hard to look at, or anything-"

"Stanford, that's enough."

"Great! So we're clear!" The last few comments resulted in an awkward silence, which Stanford soon broke by asking-

"So…how do we get out of this, exactly?"

"Well…" Agura stood from the bench, pacing back and forth. "I guess you'll just have to act gay for a couple of days."

"Wh-what!? No! Why can't _you_ be gay?" He shot back.

"I have a boyfriend! I don't want to be gay!" Agura exclaimed.

"Oh please, all boys _love_ lesbians!" Stanford brushed it off.

"Yeah, they like _watching_ them, not dating them!" Agura rolled her eyes.

"Please, as long as you have your lady parts, Vert is sold." Stanford retorted, and she glared.

"I _know_ you did not just say that about my boyfriend."

"Maybe I did." Stanford folded his arms. "But what are you gonna do about it?"

Agura took an intimidating step towards him, and the redhead jumped back in terror.

"Okay! Okay! I take it back!" He shrieked.

"Good." Agura narrowed her eyes for good measure, and Stanford continued their argument.

"Anyway, _I _certainly can't be gay! A member of the royal family? I don't think so!" Stanford shook his head firmly.

"Oh, come on, only for a few days! You could be quiet about it!" Agura pleaded.

"Absolutely not." Stanford stomped his foot on the ground.

"Fine. How do _you_ propose we get out of this?" She glared, sitting back down and folding her arms.

"Well...did you try telling your mom you didn't want to be married?" Stanford asked hopefully.

"Of _course_ I told her, Stanford." Agura rolled her eyes.

"I tried to; I guess that option's out." He bit his lip in thought. "What if we act like we hate each other? They can't force us to be married then, right?"

"Like that will stop them?" Agura scoffed.

"Another good point…" Stanford muttered, sitting back down next to her on the bench.

"Well this sucks." Agura offered helpfully.

"You said it, wifey."

"Call me that again and Vert beats you up."

"Point taken. I suppose we have to go back to dinner now?" Stanford wondered.

"Ugh, as long as your brother doesn't sit next to me." Agura rolled her eyes, and then realized something. "Oh my God…if I marry you, I'm going to have to see him ALL THE TIME." She gaped at Stanford. "We need a plan, NOW."

"What am I supposed to do?! Oh, hey Mom, by the way, I've known my fiancé for two years and we can't stand to be in the same room as each other and she hates Simon and I hate Simon too but I'm stuck with him so it doesn't matter but she at least has a chance and so we can't marry each other? Yeah, she'll totally go easy on us." Stanford rolled his eyes.

"We've got to do something-"

"Like go to dinner before they send out a royal search party." Stanford said firmly, steering her towards the door. "Come on. Seared duck is surprisingly edible."

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Oh, good, you're back." Sophia smiled as they entered the dining room, taking their seats. Simon, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen, but their places had been set with several dishes. Seeing this, with her mother looking up at her expectantly, flashed Agura back to her childhood days.

"_Agura, pay attention, please." Her mother chided, sitting at the kitchen table set with the Ibaden's finest china. An eight-year-old Agura with a scowl on her face and mud stains on her knees sat across from her._

"_Why doesn't Halla have to do this?" She complained, plucking a rose petal from the water in the bowl in front of her and popping it in her mouth. Her mother sighed in disdain as she coughed, spitting the chewed-up petal back into the bowl._

"_Agura, I told you, Halla has already completed her etiquette lessons. She began hers at this age, just like you." Nairi said as calmly as possible._

"_Don't need etiquette lessons." Agura folded her arms and grumbled. "Wanna be a hunter, like Daddy."_

"_You can't be a child forever, Agura, you have to grow up and act like the princess we all expect you to be!" Mrs. Ibaden said in exasperation. "And for goodness sake, speak in complete sentences!"_

"_Don't WANNA." Agura said firmly._

"_Complete. Sentences." Her mother managed through clenched teeth._

"_That's not a complete sentence." Agura grumbled under her breath, and her mother pressed a hand to her forehead._

"_Thirty minutes, Agura." She sighed. "I promise I will let you go outside and do whatever you desire after this."_

_Agura considered the compromise._

"_Fine. But I'm not eating any more rose water."_

Agura almost smiled at the memory; she had been a true pain for her mother. Unfortunately, she hadn't learned a thing, and now uneasily took her seat next to Stanford.

A bowl of water with rose petals floating in it sat directly in front of her, and she was suddenly overwhelmed by memories of her mother's chiding tone.

_Dip your fingertips in lightly, dear, no splashing. Use the towel to pat, not rub. Daintily, Agura, daintily! It's a bowl, not a bathtub!_

It was almost eerie to be flashed back to those lessons, but Agura couldn't have been more grateful that her mother had repeated the phrases so many times that they were stuck in her head. She followed the memory-instructions and noticed her mother's look of approval.

"Now that we've all washed up, I would just like to say what a _pleasure_ it is to finally have you here, Agura." Sophia beamed at Agura, and she smiled politely.

_No teeth! It' a dinner, not the dentist. Return ALL compliments! Sound gracious, Agura, not forced!_

"Thank you, Sophia. The pleasure is mine." She replied, trying not to sound rehearsed.

"Is this a dinner or a debate? Let's eat already." The king huffed, stabbing a large piece of what Agura hoped wasn't seared duck.

"Yes, let's." The queen added, choosing one of the multiple forks on her left. Agura briefly panicked, but the next lesson was right there.

_Use the outer fork, and work your way in. No, use your right hand, it doesn't matter that they're on your left side! No no no, salad BEFORE dessert, dear. Well obviously the cake looks better, but you can't have it yet!_

She tentatively picked up the outermost fork, taking a bite of salad.

_Dear Lord, Agura, you chew like an ox! No one wants to see what you're eating once it passes your lips! Close your mouth, and take smaller bites! Would a prince enjoy the sound of you scraping your teeth against that fork?_

The etiquette chiding continued throughout the entire meal, guiding Agura through salad, appetizers, main course (Stanford proved to be right about seared duck) and desert, which was some sort of chocolaty thing Agura would have asked for seconds of, if not for-

_Always compliment the meal, but never ask for more. I don't care how good it tastes, don't even think about licking that plate clean! More dessert?! Absolutely not! There is NO greater faux pas! Well, it just wouldn't be polite. Ladies don't eat like teenage boys! If dessert is offered, you will eat it slowly and with delight, but you will NOT ask for seconds._

"Thank you for the delicious meal, Sophia." Agura said politely, sadly setting her dessert fork down.

"Oh, you're _so_ welcome, dear." Sophia practically beamed; apparently Agura's etiquette had been flawless. "Would you like anything else?"

"No thank you, I'm quite full." She smiled (no teeth), and her mother couldn't have looked prouder. Stanford couldn't have looked more shocked; the girl he had pegged as a tomboy had upper-class table manners to spare!

"Well, now that everyone is done eating, I have an announcement to make!" Sophia said proudly. "Agura, to show you how _excited_ we are to have you joining our family…" She took a dramatic pause, and Agura was reminded of the way her mother had 'surprised' her with an arranged marriage.

"We're having a royal ball!" Sophia exclaimed, and if the etiquette hadn't been whipped into her Agura would have broken several of the rules.

"Really?" Was the only polite word she could manage, and Stanford would have burst out laughing if he hadn't felt the tiniest bit sympathetic. He was going to see Agura in a dress before Vert!

"Oh, Agura, isn't that exciting?" Mrs. Ibaden instantly exclaimed.

"Y-yes, Mother. I can't wait." Agura smiled to hide her utter loathing of anything ball-related. Her mother had tried to include that in the etiquette lessons as well.

_Once._

"If you'll excuse me, I'm very tired from the flight. Thank you for the lovely dinner." Agura smiled through clenched teeth, pushing her chair out.

"Well sleep well, dear, the ball is at seven o'clock tomorrow!" Sophia clapped, and Agura froze.

"T-tomorrow?" She repeated through a smile so wide her face nearly cracked. "Isn't that a bit early?"

"Oh, not at all!" Sophia dismissed the question. "I simply can't wait, dear!"

_Well, she certainly matches mother in enthusiasm._

"Me either." Agura lied, leaving the table.

_A ball?! I suck at balls!_

_**OMG That's what she said.**_

_Whoregura?! What are you doing here?! We only made you for Dating Down Under!_

_**Well, it's getting too lovey-dovey. There's no place for bitter sarcasm, so I haven't had anything to do for a while!**_

_Ugh, will you please leave?_

_**No. I remembered the etiquette tips at dinner, I get to stay.**_

_That was you?! You never paid attention during those lessons!_

_**Yeah, but our mother is so annoying that they all just kind of got stuck there! But that's not the point.**_

_Then what is the point? Are you leaving soon?_

_**I'd be less worried about me leaving and more worried about dancing at that ball tomorrow with our two left feet.**_

_Your confidence in us is as inspiring as ever._

_**Hey, is that sarcasm? Because that's MY thing.**_

_Seriously, get out._

_**Fine. But the next time someone needs comedic relief, don't you expect me to help out!**_

Agura wandered through the halls with no clue as to how to find her room for a while until her phone rang.

"Hello?" She picked it up, stopping to examine a painting of an extremely obese lady who resembled Stanford.

"Agura! Oh my God, like, _hello_! I thought you were dead!" Elsie exclaimed in her ear, speaking at light-speed, as usual.

"Elsie, it's been like, three days." Agura laughed.

"Yeah, which is three days too _long_!" Elsie complained. "So, did you find out that big surprise yet? Give it to me in good, bad and ugly."

_There is literally nothing good about this situation._

"Okay, good. Uhm…it involves the UK?" Agura tried.

"Ooh, British boys!" Elsie said, in an attempt to be positive. "One Direction; that's good, right?"

"The bad. It involves the UK because my mother is arranging my marriage with English royalty." Agura added flatly.

"Oh." Was all Elsie could manage.

"The ugly. He's been my coworker for two years and has an ego bigger than his castle, which, by the way, I am currently trapped in. And not only that, but Vert is also my coworker, so we both know him, and he knows that we're dating." Agura finished.

Elsie was, for once, completely speechless.

"You're joking." She finally managed.

"If only…" Agura sighed, moving down the hall from the painting to a massive tapestry.

"Agura…that's insane! Not only is your mother arranging your marriage, which is so totally eighteenth-century, but you _know_ the guy!" Elsie exclaimed. "There isn't even a _word_ for that level of suckiness! Can you get out of it?"

"Believe me, I tried. My mother is stuck on this like you are on Sherman." Agura said, practically able to see Elsie's blush.

"Okay, I am not 'stuck on him', I've only talked to him like three times since we got here." Elsie huffed, and Agura heard the sound of something being dropped, then muffled yelps. "Ow! Sebastian! Give it back! Hey!"

"Hey Agura. Sebastian here." There was a brief silence before Sebastian smoothly began talking. "I'm with Elsie, and she's been texting Sherman nonstop since I got here, which was four hours ago. Her dad's really cool, by the way."

"I thought you had the mission trip?" Agura asked, continuing her explore down the hall.

"Give me that! It starts tomorrow, so he's chilling here. We were gonna call you, but your phone was off." Elsie piped up, apparently having snatched back the phone. "And I have _so_ not been texting him nonstop!"

"Girl please, half of the time I've spent here has been helping _you_ figure out how to reply." Sebastian drawled from the background. "And put that on speakerphone!"

"Fine." Elsie huffed. "So, anyway, Agura, why didn't you respond? I called you like, six times."

"Sorry, I was a little busy flying over to Great Britain to get married!" Agura said.

"Oh, did you get to see the Olympics?! Ryan Lochte is _sooooo_ cute." Elsie gushed.

"Again, little busy getting married." Agura rolled her eyes, continuing her walk down the long hallway. "But okay, he's pretty cute."

"Please, Michael Phelps could _slaughter_ him in a race." Sebastian scoffed.

"Shut up, Sebastian!" Elsie exclaimed, and Agura heard a slapping noise.

"Ow." Sebastian grumbled, and Agura laughed.

"Ugh, Agura, you _need_ to be over here! It's not the same without you." Elsie pouted. "Oh, and to get out of your whole marriage thing. That's majorly awk."

"Awk?" Sebastian asked in interest.

"Like awkward? Yeesh, kid, get in the loop." Elsie said, and Agura would have much rather been with them then stuck in this stupid pala-

"Hey! Watch it!"

Agura, who had been looking at the wall as she walked down the hall, collided heads with someone else, a girl who promptly fell to the floor.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Agura asked worriedly, helping the brunette up. "Sorry, I was distracted. I'm Agura." She added as the girl rubbed her head, taking her in. The victim was a girl who looked a little older than her, with flat brown hair and a crooked nose. She wore a black sweatervest with small white polka dots, and an orange plaid skirt with white knee socks, with orange eye shadow and heavy black eyeliner to match. Agura winced at the fashion choice.

"Oh." She looked Agura over, narrowing her eyes. "So you're the slew they shipped over to marry Stanford." She said flatly.

"Excuse me?" Agura raised an eyebrow.

"You _are_ Agura Ibaden, aren't you?" The brunette asked boredly, pronouncing her name 'Eggurra Ibahdeen'. "You know, from South America or wherever?"

"Nigeria." Agura said through gritted teeth.

"Whatever. The point is, you don't seriously think _you're_ going to be the heir to the royal throne, do you?" The girl, whoever she thought she was, scoffed.

"Actually, it seems like that's kind of the plan." Agura retorted. "What's it to you?"

"Please. Someone like _you_?" Her opponent laughed. "Is this some sort of _joke_? Do tell, am I being filmed? Where are the cameras?"

"Hopefully one of them will get a picture of you before the lens cracks." Agura couldn't resist saying. "Do tell, is that makeup Crayola or Roseart?"

"OOOOOOOOH SNAAAAAAAP!" Agura suddenly remembered that she had left her phone on when Elsie and Sebastian simultaneously cheered from the speaker.

"Oh, look who's got her little backup squad." Her rival said snidely. "How cute."

"Oh, you've heard of that word? How?" Agura asked innocently, and the girl stomped her foot in annoyance.

"Ugh! Can you just like, swim back to your little plantation, or wherever it is you came from?!" She demanded angrily, and Agura's jaw dropped.

"…Oh snap." Elsie.

"Ex-cuh-_use_ me?!" Agura took a menacing step forward. "Look, _sweetheart_, I don't know who you think you are, but if you make a comment like _that_ again I'll wipe the floor with you and your cute little knock-off bag."

"Oh suh-nayup, girl you are on fire!"

"What are you gonna do, attack me? I can just tell the queen." The brunette folded her arms, trying not to look scared. "And it is _not_ a knock-off!"

"Please, I've seen realer things at a magic show. And why would the queen ever listen to you?" Agura scoffed.

"Maybe because I'm her niece?" The girl smiled snidely.

_Well, this is a minor setback._

"H-her niece?" Agura asked, cursing herself for stammering.

"That's right, not so tough now, are you?" The brunette said smugly. "The name's Sabrina Rhodes. I _should_ have been her daughter-in-law, but you had to prance in and ruin that too." She glared.

"Daughter-in-law?" Agura asked slowly as it dawned on her. "Oh my God…you were going to marry your cousin?!"

"_Was_ going to." Her adversary scowled. "If it weren't for you, I'd already be sitting on that throne."

"Gee, I think you just actually made me feel sorry for Stanford." Agura said innocently, and the brunette glared.

"Whatever." She huffed. "I don't care what _you_ have to say. You're _hardly_ a princess-"

"Hey, I _am_ a princess." Agura cut her off, surprised to find herself defending the title she had come to loathe.

"You? A real princess?" Her rival laughed, an annoying, false titter. "Please. Try fixing your fashion sense, attitude, posture, looks and…well, everything about yourself. Then we'll talk."

"Right, I'm going to take fashion advice from someone wearing plaid and polka dots." Agura retorted.

"Oh my God, she is _not_." Sebastian cut in from the cell phone speaker.

"It is _going_ to catch on!" The brunette screeched, then composed herself. "But of course, you wouldn't know anything about trends."

"Maybe not, but my bedroom light went out once, so I know _all_ about getting dressed in the dark." Agura pointed out, and the girl's jaw dropped.

"Ugh! How dare you?!" She hissed. "I am _so_ done here, but you had better watch your back, you little slew, because this marriage is _not_ happening." She stomped off down the hall.

"Good, your voice is even annoying through a speaker!" Elsie called from Agura's phone. "And _dang,_ Agura! Who knew you had it in you?"

"Plaid and polka dots! Really! _This season!_" Sebastian cried indignantly. "Some people just have no respect for style."

"You should have seen the orange eye shadow." Agura pointed out, and from her speaker there was a thump.

"Crap. I think he just fainted." Elsie muttered to herself. "Well, call you later! Good luck with Sabrina the teenage bit-"

"GOODBYE, ELSIE!" Agura cut her off, laughing.

"Oh, come _on_, that was ridiculously clever!" Elsie defended. "TTFN!"

Agura laughed. "Bye." She looked down the hall to her retreating adversary in curiosity, then realized that she had somehow found her way back to her room. Agura opened the door, flopping onto her bed without a second thought.

_A ball and ANOTHER royal-pain-Rhodes? This marriage couldn't be a bigger disaster._


	6. Personally Attended To

**A/N: Fun Fact Of The Day (FFOTD): 'Stewardesses' is the longest word in the English language typed solely with the left hand. I thought it was 'seamstresses', (comes up later in the chapter) but then I checked and realized that I'm just a terrible typer. XD This chapter took me a while because it got too long, then too dramatic, and I finally got it back on the right path to humor. It's a little long, so sit down, make yourself comfortable, grab a hot beverage (or a cold one) and read on! **

"Hello? Agura? Are you in there?"

It seemed Agura hadn't even gotten a moment's peace before her mother was knocking at her door.

_Thank God we at least have separate rooms._ Agura thought. "Come in!"

"Oh, Agura, your manners tonight were impeccable, dear, simply impeccable!" Her mother cried in delight as she blew into the room.

"Thanks." Agura tried to sound cheery. "Um, what are you doing in here? I thought you were still at dinner?"

"Well, the queen was so excited that she forgot to tell you!" Mrs. Ibaden exclaimed. "This isn't just any ball, Agura, it's a _masked_ ball. Sophia plans to keep everybody guessing the entire evening, until she finally pulls you in front of the crowd to remove your mask and show everyone in the country their new princess!"

"…_Really now_?" Agura managed, almost choking on clichés.

"Well, not everyone, dear, the ball is royals only, but it'll be televised of course." Her mother explained. "Oh, Agura, I'm so excited! You and Stanford are going to be the biggest royal couple since William and Kate!"

"That's…awesome, mother." Agura smiled through clenched teeth. "Can't wait!"

"Alright, dear, I'll leave you to get some rest. We've got a big day tomorrow!" Her mother cheered, closing the door behind her.

"We sure do." Agura muttered, reaching for her bag. The recent developments in what now felt more like 'Keeping up with the Ibadens' than her life required a _long_ discussion with Vert. And Halla. And probably Sebastian and Elsie.

_I'm really behind on my social networking_.

**Knock knock.**

Which, of course, she wasn't going to get caught up on now.

"Come in!" Agura called in exasperation. _Can't a girl get two minutes of peace to call the boyfriend she isn't technically supposed to have?!_The universe was making it clear whose side it was on today.

Her door opened slowly, and a maid, who actually looked younger than Agura, entered.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, princess, I thought everyone was still at dinner." The girl who had entered stammered out, clutching her duster nervously. "Um, my name is Elaina. I'm to be your attendant for your stay."

"That's fine." Agura sighed, not because of the intrusion but simply because she was sick of the palace and everyone in it. "And, call me Agura."

"Okay." The girl replied cautiously, as if the very idea would get her fired. "Um, Miss Agura, might I ask if you're feeling alright?"

"Just Agura, and actually, I'm not." Agura replied, sitting down on her bed, taking a closer look at the maid, who she was slowly realizing could prove to be a useful asset. "Say…you haven't been to any of the balls here, have you?"

"Well, no, Mis-…Er, Agura, I haven't. I just started working here a few months ago." Elaina shook her head, and Agura sighed.

"That's fine. A few months, huh? You look kinda young, no offense." She stated. The girl's sweet accent was actually making her less annoyed (unlike Stanford's), and she was desperate for conversation with someone without royal blood.

"None taken. I'm just sixteen, actually." Elaina admitted. Agura took a closer look at her; the shy girl was actually quite gorgeous, with silky dark hair, pale skin and timid crystal blue eyes.

"Sixteen? And you're already working here?" Agura gaped. "Why?"

"Well, it's my family, miss- um, Agura. W-we're kind of…kind of poor." She stared down at the floor in shame.

"Oh." Agura said softly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I don't mind it, really. The queen is nice, and…" Elaina trailed off. "Well, the queen is nice."

Agura laughed. "I know, and lucky me, I get to marry her son."

"Oh, I know! We've all been talking about you for weeks!" Elaina exclaimed, then blushed. "Er…not in a bad way, of course. Just something new." She stammered out.

"Yeah, well, now on top of that, there's this ball I have to go to tomorrow." Agura sighed.

"I hear that the balls are actually a lot of fun. The servants usually fight over who gets to staff them." Elaina admitted.

"Great. Sounds exactly like something I'll hate." Agura huffed.

"Why? It's every girl's _dream_ to go to one of the royal balls!" Elaina exclaimed, then blushed at her outburst. "Er, excuse me."

"No, that's okay." Agura said. "Go on. What's so great about them?"

Elaina gaped at her. "What _isn't_?! You get to ride up in a carriage pulled by pure white horses, wear the most beautiful ball gown, dance to glorious music with handsome princes, eat the fanciest delicacies, and so on and so forth!" She exclaimed, breathless. "They sound amazing."

"Honey, believe me when I say that if I could send you in my place, I could." Agura sighed.

"But Miss Agura, you're going to have the most wonderful time!" Elaina sighed wistfully. "Have you seen your ball gown yet? The Queen chose it herself; I'm sure it's positively elegant."

"Ball gown?" Agura raised an eyebrow. She had completely forgotten the most important aspect of such a royal gathering. "Er…right. How kind of her."

"Yes, you have a fitting tomorrow at eleven." Elaina replied. "I'm actually your personal attendant, Miss Agura, and there's a full schedule. I'll bring your breakfast at ten-thirty, the fitting at eleven, we go into town for lunch at noon and then the salon for full palace ball treatment, or, you do at least, and finally a light dinner and then the ball!" Elaina clapped, glancing at the clock with a frown. "I really ought to return to my quarters, but I'll see you tomorrow morning, Miss!"

"Alright, night." Agura replied as she left, and as if on cue, the second the door closed, her phone started to ring.

_Never a moment's peace for a princess._

"Hey, you."

"Oh! Hey Vert. Isn't it like, five AM there?"

"Couldn't sleep. Haven't heard from you in a while. Wanted to make sure you didn't have to marry Simon, too." Vert joked.

"Safe on that domain, but the update is that I've met Stanford's family, his mom seems nice, his dad is a clone of him, and I don't think I need to say anything about his brother." Agura rolled her eyes. "Oh, but I did meet his cousin."

"And?"

"Let's just say her nickname is Sabrina the teenaged bee'yotch." Agura replied, and Vert winced.

"Ouch. Good luck with her." He said.

"Did I mention that she hates me for stealing her place as Stanford's wife?" Agura asked.

"She was going to marry her cousin?!" He exclaimed.

"Ohhh yeah. You know, the whole 'my plan would have worked, if not for you, my pretty!' spiel." Agura rolled her eyes. "Oh, and she called me a slew!"

"Oh no she didn't!" Vert sassed. "Wait, what's a slew?"

Agura laughed. "I'm not actually sure, hold on." She quickly sent a text to Elsie, and was responded to just as fast. "Apparently, it's…oh my God! I can't believe she called me a slew!"

"What does it mean?" Vert asked.

"It's like a British hooker!" Agura exclaimed. "Ugh, that girl is going _down_!"

"Okay, um, good luck with that." Vert laughed. "Anything else I should know?"

"They're throwing a masked ball for me tomorrow night." Agura added.

"What's so bad about that?"

"You know how I feel about dresses!" Agura said. "And dancing! And socializing with Stanford's stuck-up relatives! And dresses!"

"Aw, come on, it'll be fun! Maybe!" Vert tried to sound positive.

"Who am I supposed to dance with, anyway? Stanford? Random princes?" Agura wondered.

"I don't care, as long as none of them try to make a move." Vert laughed. "What dress are you wearing, anyway?"

"Not a good one, don't worry." Agura rolled her eyes. "I haven't seen it yet; apparently the queen picked it for me. Hey, I apparently have to get beauty sleep so I can look all princess-y for the entire country tomorrow, so I'll talk to you later, okay?" Agura asked.

"Alright. Night." Vert yawned.

"Night." She replied, hanging up and setting her phone on the nightstand. Agura pulled back the downy covers, laid down on the bed, and turned out her light.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Morning, Miss Agura!"

"Mmmmf."

"Miss Agura, it's time to wake up!"

"Five more minutes….AGGGG DON'T OPEN THE SHADES!"

"Well, you weren't getting out of bed on your own."

"But it's so nice and dark and cozy…" Agura whined, throwing a pillow over her head. "Why'd you wake me up?"

"Oh, yes, your life is so terrible, getting breakfast in bed and all, not to mention that you have to go to a spa later." Elaina sighed dramatically. "Goodness, I just can't even fathom the pain you must be in! How _do_ you go on?" She sat on Agura's bed and pulled the covers off of her.

"You're evil, but point taken." Agura sat up with a glare. "Is that french toast?" She asked, slightly more awake as she surveyed Elaina's breakfast tray.

"Yep. _British_ breakfast special." The brunette laughed.

"Come on, girl, where's the tea and crumpets?" Agura joked as she took the tray.

"Don't be ridiculous, that's for the afternoon." Elaina shook her head, pinching a muffin off the tray.

"Hey!" Agura pouted.

"Oh, please, you have three and all I got for breakfast was oatmeal." Elaina gave a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Reowr. Someone's not a morning person." Agura raised an eyebrow. "What happened to the cute little personal attendant I met yesterday?"

"Don't worry, I promise to be the polite, poised and perfect attendant when the clock strikes eleven." Elaina smiled. "Oh, and you ought to eat fast; the fitting is in twenty minutes, and you go to lunch with her Majesty right after."

"With the queen?" Agura asked in confusion.

"She wants to bond with you." Elaina shrugged, reaching for the second muffin. Agura slapped her hand away, then laughed at the pouty look on her face and relented, handing it to her. "Thanks, luv. I'm famished!" Elaina exclaimed, exaggerating her accent and making Agura laugh.

"Hey, that reminds me. Do you guys ever try to imitate American accents?" She asked curiously, and Elaina blushed.

"Um, uh, why would we do that?" She lied, choking on blueberry muffin.

"Oh my God, you totally do! Try it!" Agura begged.

"No! It's embarrassing!" Elaina protested.

"I'll do British if you do American." Agura offered slyly.

"Well…okay. I suppose." Elaina bit her lip. "Ready?" Agura nodded, and she took a deep breath.

"HONEY, I'M GETTING' MCDONALD'S FOR DINNER, DO YA WANT A SUPERSIZE?!" Elaina said in such an outrageous attempt at southern slang combined with her unmistakable soft British that Agura fell back laughing onto her pillows.

"Stop it!" Elaina cried (**A/N: Has most effect if read in a British accent)**. "It's not _that_ funny!" Her pleas were only met with more cackles. "Okay, well, let's see your British accent, then!" She demanded, and Agura finally caught her breath.

"Nah, I don't think I can beat that." She shook her head, jumping out of bed.

"What?! That's not fair!" Elaina cried. "I-"

"Just know, your American accent will always be the best to me." Agura winked. "Now shoo, I have to change!"

"Ugh! Royals." Elaina huffed, picking up the tray and making for the door.

"Hey, it's almost eleven, you have to start be nice to me!" Agura called.

"In that case, pardon my behavior, your highness." Elaina curtsied, stuck out her tongue, and left. Agura changed into her standard wardrobe and brushed her teeth, and was just about to sit down when her door swung open.

"Fitting time!" Elaina chirped, measuring tape in her hand. "Come on, I have to take you to the Queen's chambers." Agura decided resistance would be futile, and followed her.

"Agura! Good morning, darling!" Sophia exclaimed the instant the doors opened. "How did you sleep?"

"Quite well, thank you." Agura curtsied, and Elaina gave a surprised look to the girl that had nearly choked on orange juice laughing at her American accent not twenty minutes ago.

"Now, I've already selected a dress for you to wear…" Sophia guided her to the middle of the room, where a three-paneled mirror stood, along with mannequins, a circular modeling podium surrounded by a curtain and three seamstresses dressed in aprons with various scissors, needles and threads sticking out of their pockets. Elaina handed the measuring tape to one with knitting needles stuck through the messy bun piled atop her head, as another wheeled a mannequin out from behind the mirror.

"And here it is!" Sophia clapped her hands together excitedly. The dress was a deep blue, with two red sashes that crisscrossed, each going over a shoulder to form a sort of X at her torso. The royal blue fabric flowed freely down to the floor, with gauzy white stripes running from her waist to the hem.

"Wow." Agura gulped. She hated all dresses, so maybe she wasn't the best judge of whether it was terrible of not, but…it was probably terrible. "It…um…"

Elaina frantically stacked her fists together and waved them back and forth across her body, as if waving some sort of pole.

"Looks just like the flag!" Agura exclaimed, trying to sound delighted. Elaina breathed a sigh of relief, giving her a thumbs-up.

"I'm so glad you think so!" Sophia clapped, a motion she seemed to do a lot. "It's to represent you fully joining our country."

"I couldn't think of a more perfect representation." Agura lied, and Elaina covered a snort.

"Now, I wasn't sure what size you were…" Sophia explained, and suddenly the seamstresses had wheeled eight different mannequins, all wearing the same dress, into a neat line. "So I just ordered them all! Choose one, dear, and we'll make the necessary adjustments."

"Alright…" Agura said uncertainly, grabbing a dress from the right end of the row.

"Agura, please, you're an angelfish, not a whale." Elaina rolled her eyes, grabbing a dress two dresses to the left and trading her. The queen raised an eyebrow at the maid, and Elaina blushed.

"Er, excuse me." She ducked her head, taking a few steps back. Agura laughed, stepping onto the modeling podium and pulling the curtain around herself. Surprisingly, Elaina had been right, and the dress fit.

_Now if only she could make it cuter. And more like jeans than a gown. And stop my marriage to Stanford._ Agura snorted, pulling the curtain aside and stepping forward. _Oh, and maybe take Tezz's ego down a few notches. THAT would be the real miracle._

"Oh, Agura, you look absolutely marvelous!" Sophia gasped, clapping her hands together. "Well done, Ellen!" She patted Elaina on the shoulder, and the brunette gave her a confused look, then shrugged.

"I'll take it." She curtsied. "Er, thank you, your Highness, but it's not quite perfect yet." She pulled Agura forcibly forward and walked around her, inspecting every angle of the gown.

"Let out a few centimeters at the bust and back, and take it in quite a bit around her waist. Hem…" Elaina lifted the skirt off the dress until the fabric just brushed the floor. "Six and three-quarters centimeters."

"Okay, I'm short, I get it." Agura huffed, and Elaina giggled. The seamstresses gave her confused looks, then shrugged at each other, deciding to follow her instruction and setting busily to work all around Agura, who looked slightly uncomfortable as they whipped out needles and thread, sewing at light speed.

"When did you get so good at all this?" She asked Elaina curiously.

"My mum and I had to make a lot of the clothes for our family." The brunette replied shyly. "You kind of get the hang of it. I'd love to run an alterations shop someday-"

"Done!" The trio of seamstresses announced almost simultaneously, pulling away from Agura and making grand gestures.

"Perfect! Now, of course we'll get you a corset, dear, and all the basics." Sophia explained. "Now, why don't you change out of that, and Elisa, could you please dispose of the other dresses?" Elaina shrugged, assuming the queen had meant her, and rounded up the other seven mannequins into her arms, wheeling them out of the room. Agura changed out of her dress and back into her jeans and green jacket, and stepped out of the curtain.

"Alright, now why don't you change out of your pajamas, and we'll head into town?" Sophia said brightly, and Agura raised an eyebrow, then decided it would be best not argue.

"Right." She nodded. "I'll see you at eleven?"

"Mhm, Elaina knows where to take you." Sophia nodded absently, already having moved on to a rack of elaborate dresses that seemed more her style.

"Okay then." Agura shrugged, leaving the room and realizing that she had no idea how to navigate the massive palace.

_When in doubt, straighten out_. She decided, making up a rule in her head and heading that direction. After a few hallways, she had the fortune of bumping into Simon.

"Luv!" He exclaimed as he saw her, stepping out of a room. "Agatha, is it? Are you enjoying your stay?"

"Yes, it's quite nice." Agura said politely, trying to sidestep away from him, but he began walking along with her.

"Well, I must say, I'm absolutely chuffed to go to that ball tonight! Save a dance for me, eh?" Simon winked, and she resisted the urge to gag.

"We'll see, haha." She fake-laughed. "Well, I had better be going to my room-"

"Isn't your room the other way?" Simon asked. "Oh! I understand, you're lost, poor duck. Don't worry, Simon to the rescue! I'm sure you'll be honored to have me escort you to your quarters."

"I certainly would!" Agura exclaimed as enthusiastically as possible. "But I'm sure you have more important things to do than chaperone me. Why don't you just give me the directions?"

"Well, I am rather busy, being a prince and movie star and all, you know." Simon mused, and she nodded eagerly. "Alright, just go straight down that hallway, take a right, then a right, then another right, then a fourth right, then a right, and it's the third door on your-"

"Let me guess, right?" Agura asked.

"Don't be ridiculous." Simon rolled his eyes. "Third door on the left. I'd love to take you, luv, but I'm just so terribly busy-"

"Kaythanksbye." Agura said quickly, darting away. His instructions proved true, if not confusing, and she found her room, pulling open the door in relief. To her surprise, Elaina was inside, posed in front of the vanity in a strapless blue gown that went slightly past her knees, with a white gauzy strip at the hem.

"Elaina?" She asked in surprise, and the brunette turned red to match the shreds of fabric piled at her feet.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Miss Agura, I was just-" She stammered out, and Agura curiously picked a scrap of fabric off of the floor.

"Is this…my dress?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh, goodness, no!" Elaina exclaimed. "This is one of the versions that I was to dispose of, I promise! Please, please don't tell her Majesty!"

"You made this….from _that_ dress…in the time I was gone?" Agura asked incredulously.

"Well, I mean, I suppose you could say that, I just made a few minor alterations, really…" Elaina stammered. "I'm _so_ terribly sorry, it's just that it's been so long since I've worn something so pretty-"

"Elaina, it's okay!" Agura laughed. "I mean, it looks better than mine!"

"You really think so?" Elaina's face shone with pride. "I mean, I didn't do much-"

"You should go to the ball." Agura realized suddenly. "Wearing that!"

"Me?!" Elaina exclaimed in shock. "Oh, no, Miss Agura, I just couldn't, I absolutely couldn't-"

"Yes, you absolutely could!" Agura exclaimed, wheels beginning to turn in her head. "I'm going to need someone there to help me know what to do!"

"Miss Agura, that's ridiculous! I'm a palace maid, not a princess!" Elaina reminded. "Besides, how would I even get there?"

"The ball is in the palace, isn't it?" Agura asked, and she nodded. "Well duh, just sneak in! There's like, a bazillion doors in this place; I'm sure at least one is a secret entrance to the ball room!"

"Well, I don't know…" Elaina murmured doubtfully, examining the dress in the mirror.

"Oh, come on, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know, someone from the palace could recognize me, my dress could tear, I could make a fool of myself, I could get caught, I could have an allergic reaction to the food they serve, I could trip a prince and cause a scene…" Elaina trailed off. "Oh! What if there's an assassin in the palace, and he follows me into the ball and causes a full-on massacre?! I could be responsible for the deaths of over a hundred royals….oh, that does it, I'm definitely not going!" She shook her head vigorously, folding her arms and sitting on Agura's bed.

"Honey, I think you're exaggerating a _wee_ bit." Agura laughed. "Did you consider that you might actually _enjoy_ yourself? What was it you said to me earlier…" She narrowed her eyes in thought, and Elaina buried her face in her hands. "Oh! That's right, 'It's every girl's _dream_ to go to one of the royal balls!' Well, if you had a chance to go, wouldn't you want to?"

Elaina bit her lip.

"I-I admit that it _could_ be fun-"

"Good, you're going." Agura nodded firmly, and before Elaina could protest she glanced to the clock. "Oh, crap, I have to go to lunch with the queen. What am I supposed to wear?!"

"I don't know, how about a ball gown?" Elaina grumbled. "Or embarrassment, maybe? The depressed look of losing your job?"

"Will you knock it off? You're going to a ROYAL. BALL. Not a mixer at the royal prison!" Agura rolled her eyes, yanking open her closet doors. "Now help m-…wow." She looked in awe to the walk-in closet, every rack covered in clothing.

Elaina stood up, walking into the closet without a second thought; her mission resumed at the thought of clothing. "The queen provided these for you." She reached into a few of the racks, pulling out clothing. Agura hung back at the door, as if she were standing at the cavernous mouth of some beast. Elaina spread the clothing out on her bed.

"I recommend this skirt with this blouse and heels-"

"Oh no. No heels." Agura shook her head, and Elaina sighed, retreating back into the closet.

"Okay, _flats_." She made a face. "Just let me select some jewelry for you. Put those on." She pointed, and Agura made an equally disgusted face at the skirt.

"Do I have to? Can't I wear capris, or something?" She asked doubtfully, picking up the silky blouse.

"You're joking, right?" Elaina emerged from the closet, a glittering necklace in her hands. Agura huffed.

"Fine."

Elaina averted her eyes as Agura changed, and then handed her the necklace. "There! You look perfect for brunch!"

"For brunch? What's that supposed to mean?" Agura raised an eyebrow as she fastened the necklace. "Oh my God, are these real diamonds?"

Elaina winced. "Miss Agura, please try to refrain from asking that in front of the royals, but for the record yes, they are. And good for brunch simply means that you are dressed correctly for a brunch with the queen, but incorrectly for any other event. Like if you were going to a formal dinner, or afternoon tea, you'd be talked about for weeks."

Agura shook her head. "I really don't understand you people."

"Then at least be glad you have us around to help." Elaina said brightly. "Now, walk, you're going to be late."

"Fashionably late?" Agura asked hopefully, and Elaina shook her head.

"Unfortunately, _your_ kind of late."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"

"Er, nothing, Miss Agura, just walk!"


	7. Prepping

**A/N: RETURN OF THE EMBARRASSING RINGTONE! And the return of our special guest stars, everybody's favorite disembodied split personalities, Whoregura and Boregura, with lots of dialogue strands! So, it looks REALLY long, but it's mostly a few LONG conversations I hope you find humorous. And, well, it's very long. SIX THOUSAND WORDS Y'ALL (most of them being this long auth. note XD). Finally, I know I said this would be the ball chapter, buuuuut….I LIED! *meme face* Don't worry, it will DEFINETLY and without a doubt be the next one. And last but CERTAINLY not least…School starts tomorrow! :( So, updates are probably going to be slower. Trust me, I'm not happy either, but, you know, school=college=job. (There should be equal signs there. I **_**think**_** they show up, but not all characters do, so that's a heads up.) And without further ado as I continue to add to the now 6,231 word chapter, enjoy!**

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"Oh, Agura, I can't tell you how much fun this is going to be!" Sophia sang happily as a trio of guards walked them out to an expensive looking car Agura was sure Vert knew the name of.

"It sounds like a wonderful afternoon." Agura said sincerely.

"Oh, I'm sure it will be." Sophia smiled as a guard opened the car door. "I've selected the quaintest little café for our lunch, and we have reservations at the most distinguished salon in all of-"

"Sabrina?!" Agura's mouth dropped just as she was about to sit in the car, or rather saw who she was about to sit next to.

"Well, no, dear, that's a province, I was going to say-Oh! Sabrina?" The Queen asked in surprise as she peered in the car door.

"Hey Aunt Sophia!" Sabrina beamed.

"Sabrina, darling, hello!" The Queen said in some confusion. "What are you doing here? Agura and I were about to go out to lunch-"

"I heard; that's why I wanted to join you!" Sabrina exclaimed. "I've just been _dying_ to meet darling Eggura here." She smiled sweetly, and Agura returned it with equal sickliness.

"Well, ah, I suppose it would be alright for you to join us-" Sophia agreed.

"Perfect! Thanks Auntie!" Sabrina beamed, patting the spot next to her. "Eggura, have a seat!" She smiled as if to say 'I will never pronounce your name correctly' and Agura smiled back to reply 'I'm only talking to you because I have to and if your mother wasn't here I would not hesitate to slap you right across your ugly British mug'.

"Now, as I was saying," Sophia settled into her seat; the car was spacious and designed so that the three ladies (in Agura's opinion, two ladies and Sabrina) could face each other, "We've got our lunch reservations at noon, and then the spa treatment from two to five, and finally back to the palace for a light dinner, to fit into those dresses," she winked, "And then at seven, the ball!"

"Sounds-"

"Sounds wonderful, Auntie!" Sabrina cut Agura off with a snide look.

"Yes-" Agura was about to add on, but her ringtone cut her off.

_**Starships-**_

She snatched it out of her bag and slammed the end button at light speed, as Sophia gave her a confused look.

"Sorry about that." Agura winced, and Sabrina rolled her eyes, when the phone went off again, seeming nearly twice as loud.

_**Starships-**_

She pressed her thumb into the button again, but the caller was nothing if not persistent.

_**Starships-**_

"Do you need to take that?" Sophia asked in concern as Agura hung up once again.

_**Starships-**_

"Oh, no, no one important." Agura shook her head.

_**Starships-**_

With an exasperated huff, Agura switched it on to vibrate.

**BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BU-**

"Good Lord, woman, what could possibly be so important?!" She snapped, whipping the phone to her ear.

"SHERMAN TEXTED MEEEEE!" Elsie's ecstatic voice squealed in her ear. Sophia and Sabrina, who had easily overheard, both raised an eyebrow, and Agura blushed shamefully.

"Okay, well, you were texting him yesterday, too, so what exactly is so important about this one that you had to call me seven times in the middle of my lunch with _the queen_?" Agura asked pointedly.

"Okay, don't exaggerate, I called you six times, and might I add that it's extremely rude to send people straight to voicemail, because I so _totally_ knew you were ignoring me and wait did you say queen?!" Elsie exclaimed.

"Yes, Elsie, I did, and I'm a little busy with her right n-"

"HI YOUR MAJESTY! I KNOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM BUT IT'S A TOTAL HONOR!" Elsie hollered through the phone, and Agura yanked it away from her ear.

"Elsie!" She brought it back to her ear once she was sure the onslaught had stopped. "What would make you think saying that was a good idea?!" Agura covered the receiver with her hand.

"I am _so_ sorry your Majesty." She said quickly.

"That's…fine. It's, ah, nice to meet you." Sophia said confusedly.

"Nice to meet you too!" Elsie chirped. "Oh my God, Agura, the Queen just said hi to me!"

"Okay, hon, why exactly did you call again?" Agura desperately tried to steer the girl back on track.

"OMG!" Elsie exclaimed. "That's right! Sherman texted me!"

"Yes, and…?"

"What part of 'Sherman texted me' is so hard to understand?" Elsie asked.

"Okay, what's the problem with him texting you? You've been doing it all weekend." Agura pointed out.

"Yes, but _Sebastian_ was here!" Elsie whined. "He left for his mission trip this morning and I totally am going to sound like an idiot without him helping me!"

"I'm sure-"

"Agura, I don't need a 'have confidence in yourself' pep talk, I need you to tell me what to say to Sherman, _now_." Elsie huffed.

"Okay, what did he say to you?" Agura rolled her eyes.

"'What's upppp!'" Elsie wailed. "Can you believe?! How am I supposed to respond to that?!"

Agura facepalmed. "Okay, um, what are you doing right now?"

"Well, I'm eating lunch, duh." Elsie rolled her eyes. "You know, you're not being very helpful. Maybe I should just call up Sebastian-"

"Why can't you just tell him you're eating lunch?" Agura asked in exasperation.

"Are you joking?!" Elsie screeched. "I can't tell him I'm _eating_! Why not just respond with a bunch of those little cake emoticons or tell him I'm trying to squeeze into size eighty-three pants?!"

"Okay, Elsie, I think you're blowing this out of proportion-"

"Is that supposed to be a FAT JOKE?!"

"No, Elsie, just-"

"Don't you start this with me, Agura Ibaden, you have no idea how traumatized I am right now!" Elsie snapped.

"Oh my God." Agura rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. "Look, Els, I _really _don't have time for the long and tragic backstory right now-"

"It was the summer between sixth and seventh grade!" Elsie began dramatically, and Agura sighed.

"I think we're breaking up." She said boredly. "Wait, what's that? I…can't…hello?"

"Oh my God, you are so totally faking-"

"Bye!" Agura chirped, ending the call.

Sophia and Sabrina were staring at her, open-mouthed.

"I am so, _so_ sorry, Sophia." Agura winced.

"Oh, that's fine." Sophia smiled cautiously. "Is she, ah, a friend of yours?"

"Yes." Agura nodded. "She's, um, a little excitable."

"I see." Sophia nodded. "Well, she certainly seems fun-oh, look, we're here!" The car stopped, and Agura exited the car with the other two women, thankful for the distraction.

_Dang that Elsie girl and her loveableness._

They were quickly seated at a table and given menus.

"You know, Aunt S, you look so totally super cute today." Sabrina commented as she paged through her menu. Agura snuck a side glance at the queen; she had traded her traditional gaudy ball gown for a sleek pantsuit. Agura mentally nodded in approval. _Maybe this family wasn't so bad after all._

"Why thank you, Sabrina!" Sophia exclaimed. "It's so nice to be able to get out of those massive gowns every once in a while, you know?"

"I totes know what you mean." Sabrina nodded, and Sophia winced.

"Sabrina, dear, you know I don't care for all of that teenage slang. Please try to speak like a lady. You know, like dear Agura here." Sophia smiled at Agura.

"Right." Sabrina smiled sweetly, then glared daggers at Agura once Sophia had turned her head. Soon, a waiter appeared and took their orders, they made small talk while Agura and Sabrina pretended to like each other until the food arrived. Agura noticed that Sabrina had ordered coffee.

_Hmm…I wonder if lactose-intolerance runs in the family…_ She thought curiously, and as Sabrina turned to suck up to Sophia, Agura quickly grabbed the pitcher of cream and poured the entire thing in to her coffee mug. Sabrina turned back just as she was setting the creamer down, and Agura gave her a smile. Sabrina rolled her eyes, slightly unnerved, and picked up her mug, taking a long sip.

Agura smiled.

Sabrina had almost finished the coffee by the time their food arrived, and she was looking a little green. She looked down to the plate in front of her and grimaced, clutching her stomach.

"I think I'm going to run off to the loo. Back in a…bit." She managed, quickly hurrying off.

"Hmm. I hope she's feeling alright." Agura murmured in false concern.

"Yes, me too." Sophia nodded, and privately, Agura smirked. She did not see herself as a mean person, but she certainly thought of Sabrina as one, and decided that it was her duty to speed karma's job up a little bit. Sabrina returned almost twenty minutes later, still looking a little nauseated.

"Why, Sabrina, are you alright?" Agura asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." Sabrina shot. "Just a bit of a stomachache." Her plate remained untouched for the rest of the meal.

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"Sabrina, I think it would be best if we dropped you off…" Sophia apologized as they got into the car again. Sabrina, grimacing, simply nodded, and it was the best silence Agura had ever experienced. They drove her back to the palace as she got out of the car without a word, clutching her stomach all the way.

"I do hope she can still attend the ball." Sophia said halfheartedly, and Agura nodded, curious to see that even her own family could get sick of Sabrina's antics. They drove off again, traveling for about ten minutes before pulling up in front of a building with a sign that read '_Luxury Spa: Come in and Relax'._

Agura rolled her eyes.

_Not in a million years._

In no time at all she was seated in a large massaging chair, her hands and feet held still with restraints that physically and mentally reminded Agura of handcuffs.

"Now," Sophia was seated next to her, "We've ordered the full treatment; pedicures, manicures, facials _and_ massages, so just sit back and relax! I've been here countless times; they do such a _fabulous_ job."

"Sounds great." Agura forced a smile, clenching her teeth as a woman grabbed her feet, and another her hands. Agura _hated_ spas with a passion, not to mention the fact that her 'massage chair' felt more like an electric one with the hand restraints.

_**This place smells like a potpourri factory.**_

_Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were invited back._

_**Okay, A, go facial yourself,**_

_Excuse me?!_

_**And B, I'm here to express the utter disgust and hatred our dear Agura feels for this place.**_

_Well, carry on, but you'll be here for a while._

_**Alright, first off, what up with the handcuffs? This is a spa, not a torture chamber-**_

_Um, hello? Synonyms?_

_**Right. Thank you, Boregura. Second, have I mentioned that I hate being touched? Like, seriously, I don't want these wrinkly old lady hands all up in my grill! Old is probably contagious! For another thing, they didn't even ask what color I wanted! What if they give me orange? It'll totally clash with my dress, I mean, hello, you're supposed to be stylists! These things are kind of important!**_

_Okay, I'm sure-_

_**AND FOR ANOTHER THING, do they really expect me to just sit here while-OH MY GOD WHAT IS SHE PUTTING ON MY FACE. SHE'S PUTTING GOO ON MY FACE. REPEAT. THERE IS **__**GOO**__**. ON MY FACE! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! SLAP THIS BRITISH MOTHA-**_

_WHOREGURA DON'T YOU DARE!_

_**IT'S ALL OVER MY EYEBROWS! THAT'S DISGUSTING!**_

_Oh no…._

_**And now she's slapping paper all over it?! What am I, a sushi ro-OWWWWWWWWW!**_

_*sigh*_

_**THAT HUUUUUUURRRRRRRT! I'M DYYYYIIIINNNGGGGG!**_

_Will you chill?_

_**HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHILL?! MY **__**EYEBROWS**__** WERE JUST TORN OUT!**_

_Not entirely torn out!_

_**Oh, like that's comforting right now!**_

_It's just a wax, God! Haven't you ever had one before?_

_**Okay, you're seriously asking me that? When we share THE SAME BODY?! **_

_Never mind!_

_**Oh, great, now she's putting MORE goo on-Hey! THOSE ARE MY CHEEKS, MORON! WAX THEM AND I'LL WAX EVERY INCH OF YOUR GRAY HEAD!**_

_Oh, for the love of- IT'S A FACIAL, OKAY?! Not a gas mask!_

_**WHAT IS HAPPENING!? I'M BLIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDDD!**_

_Those are cucumbers, moron!_

_**AHH! VEGETABLES! IT BURNSSSSSS!**_

_Drama queen._

_**That's drama PRINCESS to you, missy.**_

_Look, it's JUST a spa treatment-_

_**Are there avocados in this? I'm HIGHLY allergic to avocados!**_

_No you're not._

_**Okay, I'm not, but I don't want them all over my face! They're FULL of fat!**_

_Oh my goodness, was that an actual scientific fact?! Whoregura, I'm impressed!_

_**Well, shucks, and hey, I know my facial ingredients!**_

_Come on, I'm sure these spa ladies know what they're doing._

_**You're kidding, right? We're essentially wearing first-world handcuffs and blindfolds! There could be a serial rapist in the sauna for all we know!**_

_You need to take a chill pill._

_**A serial rapist with DRUGS, BOREGURA! Oh, man, this is bad, this is really, really bad!**_

_Will you calm down? You're going to sweat off this mask!_

_**That's kind of the point! SWEAT, WOMAN! SWEAT LIKE THE WIND!**_

_Please…._

_**Okay, they're wiping it off now, thank God.**_

_See? I told you, everything would be fi-_

_**OH MY GOD IT'S ANOTHER ONE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIEEEEEEEE!**_

_IT. IS. A. __FACIAL._

_**Facial of death, if you ask me. Two in a ROW?! That screams shady.**_

_You're being ridiculous._

_**YOU'RE being ridiculous.**_

_Really? We're gonna argue like six year olds?_

_**Would you rather argue like two year olds? Because I have a whole stash of swear words disguised as nonsense!**_

_No, no, six year olds will do._

_**Well, in that case, yo momma so fat she's on BOTH sides of the family! **_

_Oh my God, I am not doing this._

_**Does that mean I win?**_

_UGH._

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After her nails were done, Agura's 'handcuffs' were opened, and she was released from her prison of pampering.

_**PRAISE. THE. LORD.**_

"Now, just follow me." One of the spa attendants took her wrist.

_**There's more?! Let go of me, you old crone!**_

The lady guided her into a dark room with a single cot-like mattress in it.

_**OHMYGODIT'STHERAPISTWE'REALGONNADIE-**_

_It's just-_

_**I knew it all along, but YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!**_

_A MASSAGE TABLE. Good Lord, woman! Spas are supposed to calm you down!_

_**Not me! I, and by that I mean WE, and by we I mean Agura and I, because you clearly are just 'Fearless Francesca' today, HATE spas! And you should too!**_

_Yes, but I'm the LOGICAL personality. So, while I'm disgusted, I'm actually capable of containing my emotions._

…_**Whatever. Let's just get this massage over with.**_

_Oh, come on, it's our first one! It could be fu-…Did that lady just tell us to take our CLOTHES off?!_

_**IT'S THE RAPISTTTTTTT! RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!**_

_GET OUT WHILE WE STILL CAN!_

"Would you two shut up?!" Agura hissed as she stepped behind a partition to change. "And Boregura, I'm disappointed in you. You're supposed to be the logical one!"

_**OHH MY GOD, WHAT IF WE GET ONE OF THOSE 'HAPPY ENDING' THINGS?! FROM THE RAPIST?!**_

_I don't really think that's how it works…_

_**WHATEVER. I'm still terrified at the idea of being naked in a room full of old ladies!**_

_I think it's just the one-_

_**THAT'S EVEN WORSE! NO WITNESSES!**_

"Oh, chill, they gave us a towel!" Agura rolled her eyes, wrapping it around herself and going to lie down on the table. The spa attendant wheeled out a cart, filled to the brim with lotions, gels and other treatments, and Agura winced, tensing up. She was sure the two 'oreguras' were wrong, but just in case…

_Okay, okay, this isn't so bad…._

_**Yeah, it's-OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MORE GOO?! I thought we were done with this crap!**_

_Alright, I'm seriously about to sedate y-_

_**It's probably just lotion, right? Please tell me it's lotion!**_

_Of COURSE it's lotion, it's all over our legs!_

_**Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I feel better now.**_

_Exactly. See, now she's pressing paper on it so that it…absorbs, or something._

_**Right. Okay. Juuuust a massage. It's all oka-**_

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

…

…

_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_

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_**Okay, okay, aside from the whole leg-waxing thing…That…was…AMAZING.**_

_And to think, you were terrified!_

_**HEY! YOU were scared too!**_

_I was not!_

_**Okay, whatever. But seriously, we should get those more often! EXCEPT for the leg-waxing thing!**_

"I told you it would be fine." Agura rolled her eyes; she was changing back into her clothes again after an _ah-mazing _massage.

_**Yeah, yeah, MAYBE I overreacted a little. Except for the leg-waxing thing. That was legitimate and acceptable response.**_

_Yeah, OKAY. And hey, I'm hungry! _

_**Ooh, me too! Can we take five?**_

"Oh, feel free to take more than five."

_**Hey! In my defense-**_

_Oh, please, you aren't even supposed to BE HERE!_

_**Okay, she hurt my feelings!**_

_Alright, that's it, I'm out. W, what do you want for lunch?_

_**Pancakes sound good! And hey, I'm still mad at you!**_

_*sigh*_

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"So, Agura, what did you think?" Sophia asked earnestly. They were back in the car, and with all of the oils stuck on her, Agura felt like she was going to be permanently glued to her clothing. "Don't they just do a lovely job?"

"Yes, they do." She replied.

"Oh, you're absolutely glowing, dear! Those facial really do the trick, don't they?" Sophia clapped.

"Absolutely." Agura forced a smile and nodded.

"I mean, you hardly even need makeup with skin like yours." Sophia continued, and Agura winced at all the praise.

"Actually, I'm not wearing any." She admitted, and Sophia gasped.

"No! Really?" She looked closer, and Agura blushed in discomfort. "Well, look at that! And all this time…well, I certainly wish you would teach dear Sabrina a lesson in natural beauty. She does tend to….overdose." She said carefully, and Agura held back a laugh. "I don't mean to offend the dear girl, but it's true!" Sophia blushed, and Agura lost it, laughing and instinctively holding her hand up for a high five. Sophia looked to her curiously, uncertainly taking Agura's hand and shaking it.

"Oh, no, your Majesty, it's a high five." Agura explained, taking the queen's hand and bringing it to meet her own. "Like that."

"What is the point of this gesture?" Sophia asked in confusion.

"Well, it's kind of like 'Hey, nice one!' or when someone does something really cool. Then, you high-five them." Agura explained, and Sophia nodded unsurely.

"I…see. I think." She said slowly. "Oh, look, it's already almost five! We ought to hurry if we want to be ready for the ball!"

"Oh, yeah. Can't wait." Agura lied.

"Now, just let me know if you need _anything_ at all, dear. Hair, makeup, I'll send someone up with a light dinner, but there will be more than enough to eat in the ballroom." Sophia babbled, and Agura simply nodded as they drove towards the palace.

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"Miss Agura! You look pampered!" Elaina exclaimed the second Agura entered her room.

"Is it that obvious?" Agura sighed, leaning against her door and then thinking better of it, flopping onto the massive bed. She wasn't too fond of the room; it felt awfully stiff compared to her room back home, or at the Hub. Victorian era design, large, grand furniture and heavy drapes. Not nearly as comfortable or homey as her room back in Arizona, or the spacious, child-friendly loft at home, but it was a big bed all the same and even though spas were supposed to be relaxing, she was tired.

"Ooh! You got your eyebrows done, didn't you?" Elaina winked. "You lucky girl! Let me guess, legs too? Oh, and a facial?" She leaned closer. "_Two_?! AND a massage and nails?!" She shook her head in wonder. "Must be nice to be a princess."

Agura simply gaped at her. "How…on Earth…did you know all of that?"

"It's not so tricky." Elaina shrugged. "Ooh, look, they did your nails to look like miniature flags!" Agura looked down in disbelief to find that all ten of her digits had indeed been transformed into tiny Union Jacks.

_Everyone in this country is insane._

"That's just a _little _over-the-top." She muttered.

"Are you joking? That's NOTHING compared to some of the royal weddings!" Elaina laughed. "So, anyway, it's five o'clock, and we have a LOT to do before this ball!"

"Really?" Agura flopped back onto the soft bed again. "I'm tired! Can't I just like, slap on the dress and go?"

Elaina laughed. "Oh, Miss Agura, your sense of humor certainly is refreshing." She tittered, then paused at seeing Agura's face. "Oh…you weren't kidding."

Agura huffed in exasperation.

"Come on; I'll help you." Elaina tugged at her hand, pulling her into a sitting position. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, along with your hair AND makeup duties, of course-"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold up, sweetheart. I am _not_ wearing makeup." Agura shook her head firmly.

"But Miss Agura, you _must_!" Elaina exclaimed. "Everyone in the _kingdom_ will have their eyes on your tonight!

"And good for them, but I won't be wearing makeup." Agura repeated, and Elaina sighed in frustration.

"Fine. At _least_ let me do your hair."

Agura sighed, shrugged, and stood up.

"Dress first." Elaina wagged her finger, and Agura huffed, sulking into the closet. She emerged a few minutes later, stuffed into the gown.

"Look, I found this fashionable little red bow I can't tie on the back." She said, dripping sarcasm as she spun and displayed the massive red bow on the small of her back for Elaina, who laughed and moved to tie it.

"You know, at least it matches your nails." She tried not to laugh, and Agura growled.

"Can I just express how much this SUCKS?" She narrowed her eyes at her reflection in the mirror.

"You can." Elaina replied, pulling her by the elbow into the bathroom and plugging in a few irons. "Now, pull your hair out."

"Of my ponytail?" Agura asked dubiously. She wasn't even sure _Vert_ had seen her hair down.

"No, out of your bank account." Elaina rolled her eyes, then winced at realizing the sarcasm that, around a more pompous royal, could and would get her fired. "Er, sorry, Ponytail will do."

Agura frowned doubtfully, beginning to remove the multiple hair clips, bobby pins, and just about everything else keeping her unruly hair in place. She didn't have the traditional ethnic tight curls, but instead wavier tendrils, but her hair was still very thick and _extremely_ difficult to deal with, at least in her opinion.

"Miss Agura, why on _Earth_ do you contain your hair like this?!" Elaina exclaimed. "It's so pretty down!"

"I contain it because it's frizzier than a Pomeranian and harder to tame than a lion." Agura replied. "And that's coming from someone who has _tamed_ lions!"

"Okay, I'll ask about that later…" Elaina muttered, running her fingers along the counter as if considering which iron to use. "Alright. I think we're going to go for soft curls. You know, cute and innocent with your dress, not the sexy kind. Besides, straight hair simply won't work on your face shape."

"I'm going to act like I know what that means."

"And I'm going to get out a few kegs of hairspray."

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"Can I open my eyes _now_?"

"No! And quit asking; I'm almost done!"

"It's been over an hour!"

"Oh, please, it's only been forty-five minutes. On an unrelated note, you have a lot of hair."

"Gee, thanks."

"Okay….almost done…." Elaina bit her lip, releasing the last curl.

"So can I open-"

"NOT YET!"

"Why? You said you were done!" Agura protested. "I've memorized the inside of my eyelids!"

"I'm sure that's scientifically impossible, but keep them closed. I have to hairspray you." Elaina instructed, manning a can of hairspray like a machine gun and spraying every inch of her curls with the entire container. "Done!" She announced, and Agura opened her eyes. Her previously-unmanageable hair, now parted from the side, framed her face in soft, wavy tendrils. It was a new experience for Agura, as she literally _never_ did anything with her locks, but she just didn't have it in her heart to be excited.

"Okay. Thanks." She said after a minute, and then stood up to leave the bathroom, which was filled with aerosol fumes. Elaina's jaw dropped.

"That's it?!" She gaped. "I spend an _hour_ on your hair, it looks like you walked out of _Vogue_, and all you have to say is 'OKAY'?! Excuse me if I'm out of line but that. Does. Not. _Happen._"

Agura sighed. "Look, Elaina, it looks great, and I'm super thankful, but the truth is I don't want to go to this ball at all, much less look attractive for it."

Elaina bit her lip. "Miss Agura…I get the feeling there's another reason you don't want to marry Stanford. Besides the fact that he's, well, Stanford."

Agura chuckled bitterly. "There are quite a few, sweetheart, but I don't want to drag you into _that_ mess." She sighed. "It's not important. Come on, let's get you ready to go to this thing. Go put your dress on."

Elaina couldn't help it; her face practically glowed with excitement as she dashed into the closet to change. It was past six o'clock, and the girls had forty minutes or so before they had to get in the carriages, or in Elaina's case, sneak into the ballroom. She emerged from the closet in her own version of Agura's dress, and Agura tried not to look to jealous of her petite figure, perfectly straight hair and not to mention much better dress.

"Okay, so we have forty-three minutes to do my hair, your makeup, my makeup-"

"Nice try, girl, I already told you I'm not wearing makeup." Agura cut her off, and Elaina frowned. "Thought you could sneak it in, didn't you?" Agura laughed, and she nodded.

"Oh well, I'll just do mine then." Elaina sighed, knowing the situation was hopeless and going in to the bathroom. Sophia had provided every color, type, and form of makeup for Agura, and since she wasn't going to use it, it only seemed fair that someone did.

"So, what exactly do you have against makeup, anyway?" Elaina asked as she began applying foundation.

"Ugh, what don't I have against it?" Agura frowned. "It's a massive waste of time, and there's just so much of the crap; eyeliner, eye shadow, eyelash curlers, blush, mascara, lipstick, foundation, powder…I can hardly keep it all straight, much less apply it! Besides, makeup is such a self-conscious statement. It's like going out and telling the world, 'hey, I'm not comfortable with how I really look' and most girls only wear it to impress guys, which is again, a massive waste of time."

"Gee, don't hold back." Elaina muttered, and Agura laughed.

"I dunno, I just don't like wearing it. And now it just bugs me, because everyone _always_ wanted to give me a makeover."

"Oh, that's a total girl thing. _Everyone_ wants to put makeup on the girl who never wears it." Elaina explained, tugging at her eyelid and drawing a thin line of eyeliner. "I mean, yes, I want to put it on you as well, but not so much from a cosmetic standpoint."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Agura cocked her head in confusion, and Elaina sighed.

"Well, Agura, you're obviously comfortable with your natural beauty, and I can't tell you how much I hate ruining that for someone," she began, a mascara wand in her hands, "But I think that this ball is all about presentation. And if you don't even care enough to wear makeup to the biggest ball of the century…" She frowned, continuing to stroke as her eyelashes grew longer and darker, "I'm just not sure if you want to make that sort of impression. I mean, those cameras will be trained on you the entire night." She added, setting the mascara down.

"Wait, cameras?!" Agura demanded, trying not to stare at Elaina's eyelashes, which had practically quadrupled in number.

"Oh, yes. News stations from all over Britain will be here." Elaina continued, brushing blue glitter onto her eyelids. "You knew that, didn't you?" She asked curiously, tilting her head at Agura as she set the shadow down.

"No!" Agura exclaimed. "Well, maybe, but it didn't sink in!"

"I bet some makeup would make you feel more confident…" Elaina sang, waving an applicator, and Agura sighed.

"Alright, set me up, but _just_ the absolute basic-"

"Yay!" Elaina squealed and clapped, plunking Agura into a chair. "I'll start with Beauty Base Zero, and we'll go from there."

"Beauty Base what?" Agura asked, but her phone rang, cutting her off. She picked it up and checked the caller ID. "Elsie?"

"Hello." Elsie said shortly. "Thanks for hanging up on me earlier IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIFE CRISIS."

"Okay, Els, I'm really sorry, but I was with the _queen_-"

"Agura, I'm kidding! Geez, someone's stressed!" Elsie laughed. "So, what's happening? I responded to Sherman, btw. We _totes_ conversed! I was amazing!" She sang happily, and Agura laughed.

"Who's that?" Elaina asked curiously, and Agura held up a finger.

"Elsie, that's great, but I'm actually getting ready to go to the ball-"

"OMG, no way! I _have _to see your dress! Do you have Facetime?! I'll switch you over!" Elsie exclaimed, hanging up before Agura could respond.

"She's a friend." She said quickly to Elaina, who nodded as the phone rang again. Agura answered it, admittedly a little surprised to see a close-up of Elsie's face looming on the screen.

"Ooh, too close. Hold on." The screen tilted, and Elsie moved back. "There! Perf-OMG! You look so twee! Who did you hair?"

"That would be my 'personal attendant', Elaina." Agura tilted her phone so that Elsie could see.

"Um, hello." Elaina waved sheepishly.

"OMG, British!" Elsie exclaimed. "Agura, she's so _gorgeous!_ Do they all look like that?" Elaina blushed furiously, ducking away from the screen, and Agura laughed.

"No. No they do not," she said, thinking of Sabrina. "But she's about to do my makeup, so I'm gonna set you on the counter, kay?"

"No _way_! She actually got you to put _makeup_ on?" Elsie shrieked, looking back and forth between the two (and propped up against a Kleenex box). "Talk about a miracle worker!" Elaina blushed more furiously, sorting through her makeup. "Ooh, can you show me the dress real quick?" Agura stood up, handing Elaina the phone so that she could give Elsie the full view.

"Geez, did they snatch it right off of the flagpole?" She muttered.

"I know, it's bad." Agura sighed, sitting back down. "But look what freaking Elaina the design star did with it!" She exclaimed, taking her phone back and displaying Elaina's knee length gown.

"Oh my God, I totally would not have guessed that was the same dress!" Elsie exclaimed. "It's so…"

"Cute?" Agura laughed, setting her phone back on the counter and laughing.

"Yeah." Elsie admitted. "So can I watch the makeup sesh?"

"Sure." Agura shrugged, sitting back in the chair as Elaina picked up an eye pencil.

"Ow."

"It's just eyeliner; I'm not even pressing that hard." Elaina soothed boredly.

"Owww! Don't rip my eyelashes out!"

"It's just mascara, to have to use a _little_ force."

"Ow!"

"Okay, eyeshadow is _not_ that traumatizing!"

"Well, no, but I thought it was gonna hurt."

"That reminds me, say 'going to' when you're at the ball."

"Ooh, look who's an expert."

"I advise you not to insult the girl with the power to turn you into a circus clown."

"…Well played."

"Aw, you guys could be sisters!" Elsie cut in. "Agura, next time you fly over there, is there room in your suitcase for me? I need to meet some of these Brit kids!"

"Elaina, I can _feel_ you blushing," Agura, eyes still closed, began as Elaina ducked her head, "And Els, trust me, I would give anything to be back home. No offense." She said quickly to Elaina, who shrugged.

"Well I would give anything to be _you_! A friggin' princess, going to a friggin' ball in friggin' Britain!" Elsie huffed. "I mean, I'm a total Directioner! You can _nawt_ imagine how jeal I am right now."

"I'm gonna act like I understood what you just said."

"A Directioner? Obsessed with One Direction? The uber-cute British boy band?" Elsie implied, and Agura shook her head. "Okay, I worry about you. I really do."

"I'll keep that in mind." Agura laughed. "Hey, Elaina, what time is it?"

"Six forty." Elaina replied crisply. "I'm almost done…there!" She exclaimed proudly, holding a mirror up to Agura's face. Despite being seventeen, Agura had actually never worn makeup, and she was intrigued but still a little apprehensive to see the final result. She examined her reflection closely. Her skin glowed, dark eyelashes framed brown orbs like lush feathers, and golden sparkles-

…

_Hold up_.

"Elaina, what did I say about basics?" Agura asked suddenly, turning away from the mirror. "Is the gold eyeshadow _really_ necessary?!"

"It was _begging_ to be used on your complexion!" Elaina protested.

"She's got a point, Agura. You look hot." Elsie admitted, and Agura facepalmed (or forehead-palmed in an effort not to smear the makeup).

"Take it off." She finally decided, and Elaina sighed. "_Now_."

"It really was attractive, you know…" She muttered under her breath, wiping the gold glitter from Agura's eyelids. She managed to remove most of it, but a few stubborn specks still remained, leaving her with what Elsie called 'just the right amount of sparkle. Well, for you. I would totes need ten times that'.

"Okay, I think we're ready." Elaina announced.

"Hey, we should take a picture and send it to Vert!" Elsie exclaimed. "But uh, shoulders and up." She added, reminded of the dress.

"Who's Vert?" Elaina asked curiously. Agura shot Elsie a glare, and she slapped a palm over her mouth upon realizing her mistake.

"He's a…friend. Back home." Agura covered quickly, and Elaina nodded suspiciously.

"I see." She said doubtfully, but fortunately Agura's phone went off again, saving her from having to lie more.

"Oh, crap, Elsie, it's my sister, I'm gonna have to hang up." Agura apologized.

"Fine, fine, twice in one day, I understand." Elsie sighed dramatically. "Kidding! Have fun at the ball, cutie, and you had _better_ call me tomorrow! TTYL!" She laughed and hung up so that Agura could answer Halla's call.

"Hey Hal-"

"Where have you been?! You've been there for over twenty-four hours, Googs, I could kind of use an update!" Her sister cut her off. "Mom hasn't told me a thing; we're an information black hole back here!"

"Sorry, Hall." Agura apologized quickly. "Well, I met the prince, it turns out I _know_ the prince, I met his family, his brother's annoying, his cousin is _way_ worse-"

"Hold up, hold up, you KNOW the PRINCE?" Halla demanded. "Explain, _now_."

"Okay, well, he's kind of my coworker." Agura winced, waiting for a screech.

"No. WAY."

"And we kind of hate each other. Well, love/hate. You know how it is." Agura added.

"Gura! Like, oh my God, were you ever going to mention this?!" Halla screeched.

"I haven't had time! I'm going to a royal _ball_ in fifteen freaking minutes!" Agura defended, and Halla sighed.

"Oh, Lord. Lordy Lordy Lordy." She murmured. "Okay, well, I guess I don't get the full update, good luck, and you better call me when you get back!"

"I will, I will, I promise, now Halls, I really have to go!" Agura pleaded, and her sister huffed.

"Fine, but I am your _sister_. You can't ignore me like you do to mom. Remember that now!" Halla teased. "Oh, and also, have fun at the ball, but save the grinding for the afterparty, okay? There'll be cameras there, you don't want to be the wild girl-"

"Halla!" Agura hissed. "It's a ball, not a bar! And I don't do that crap!"

"Okay, just checking!" Halla defended. "I mean, you had a boyfriend for like, five months, who knows what else you haven't told me?!"

"Goodbye, Halla." Agura said firmly, trying not to laugh.

"Oh my God, wait, are you still a virg-"

Agura quickly hung up. "Sorry about that." She said to Elaina, who giggled.

"You keep interesting company."

Agura shook her head in exasperation and amusement.

"Honey, you have no idea."

**A/N: So, to recap: Long, hope it was funny, hope you liked it, and school tomorrow yuck. Well, TTFN!**


	8. The Ball (Part One)

Agura was all made up; Elaina was sneaking through the back door of the ballroom. She and her mother were standing outside the palace, two pristine white horses attached to an old-fashioned carriage. She thought it was a little ridiculous to walk out of the palace, get into the carriage, take a small path to a larger path that led to the grand entrance of the ballroom, but hey, that's royal life for you.

"Agura, this is so exciting! Get in your carriage, get your mask on, go go go!" Mrs. Ibaden clapped. "Oh, you look beautiful honey; your hair and makeup all done up! This ball is going to be so fun…" She kept talking, all excited, shallow babble, but Agura didn't even hear it.

"Mother." She took a deep breath, and Mrs. Ibaden stopped shortly.

"What's wrong?"

"You know I still don't want to get married, right?" She asked. In a way, it kind of hurt that her mother thought she could just send her into this marriage without Agura's consent, but then again, most of her life had consisted of decisions being made without her consent. Nairi looked perplexed, as if she had just won the lottery but then the check had been ripped up.

"B-…but sweetheart-"

"I've been telling you this whole time." Agura shook her head. "I don't want to be here, I don't want to go to a ball, I don't want to get married. You've known since day one."

"Agura, you know I hate to play this card but I am your mother and you _will_ marry Stanford." Mrs. Ibaden tried to appear stern.

"Oh my God, honestly?!" Agura couldn't even believe what she was hearing. "Mother, I have been on my own in a different _country_ from you for _two years now_, and you still think you can _pull_ that crap on me?" Agura shook her head, hoping the sarcasm would disguise how hurt she was that her mother wouldn't even consider changing the arrangements.

"Well, honey-"

"I don't want to hear it. In fact, I'm sick and tired of hearing it, I'm sick and tired of this country, and I know it's only been three days but I am sick and tired of _you_." Agura said, amazed at how satisfying it felt to let her emotions run free. "So I will go to this ball, I will pretend to have a good time, and I will _pretend_ to be happy when that ring is forced onto my finger and I have to spend the rest of my life holed up in this castle, without any freedom or a life of my own, but just know that until I get back to Arizona with my _real_ family, I will _never_ be happy." She slammed the carriage door.

"I didn't even know you _lived_ in Arizona!" Were her mother's final words to her.

"Oh, for God's sake…" Inside the carriage, Agura facepalmed. _That woman…_

Maybe it was her fault that her mother didn't know. After all, she had only told her once or twice. But Agura was in no mood for a guilt trip. Her dress was ugly, the corset was about three sizes too tight, and her shoes already pinched.

Fortunately, the carriage ride was so short that she didn't have time for a self-conscious mental breakdown, but once she stepped out and felt her feet hit the plush carpet that had been rolled out, insecurity hit her full force. Agura was not a girly girl. Never had been. Frills and makeup and pink simply weren't her style. She had a figure, and one to be proud of at that, but was comfortable in her jeans and sweatshirt. That was what she loved so much about Vert; he had never cared what she wore.

_And now I probably never even get to see him again_.

The very idea brought tears to her eyes. She just wanted to go home. To be with the team, with who she considered her real family, running laps on the track or relaxing at Zeke's. Not here. This was Stanford's thing, certainly not hers. She wasn't a girly girl, but she still had emotions, and right now all she could focus on was how much she _missed_ them.

_Snap out of it, girl. Get in there and hold your head up high._ She took a deep breath, telling herself everything would be fine.She adjusted her mask one last time as she stepped through the doors and was instantly slapped in the face with glamour. Agura hadn't been into the ballroom yet, but the palace must have been preparing for this ball for weeks! Massive crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling and the floor was polished to the point of seeing your own reflection. Lavish velvet drapes covered tall windows and a full orchestra played in one corner. Table upon table, piled high with food, were set out, and tuxedoed waiters strolled through the crowds with balanced trays offering every delicacy. But the most intimidating sight, to Agura at least, was the massive crowd of people, namely the princesses and queens in huge, bustling dresses and princes and kings in tuxes. The balls weren't so much a way to show off your castle (although that was obviously a part of it), as a networking opportunity: socializing for kingdoms and royals alike, or at least that was what Agura believed as she worked her way through the crowd, catching snatches of conversation.

"Why, Charles? Is that you? How long has it been, old chap?"

"William! How time flies!"

"Priscilla, that dress is simply marvelous!"

"Why, thank you, Princess Alexandra! I especially love your pearls!"

"Oh my goodness, is that Queen Melissandra? I don't believe she's shown her face since that dreadful _scandal_ with King Henry…"

"I know I wouldn't show mine if I was her! It was all over the news!"

"Emilia, did you _see_ what she was wearing? Someone's tailor obviously took the day off!"

"Oh, Annessa, don't be so rude! I'm sure her tailor tried his best, but dresses only come in so large of sizes…"

Agura made a mental note to avoid 'Emilia' and 'Annessa' at all costs. She was trying to find Stanford, or at least a familiar face, when in her darting around she bumped straight into the giant bow on the back of a pink dress. The girl in front of her, whose long blonde hair tumbled in perfect curls halfway down her back, spun around like she was being photographed in a shampoo commercial, and Agura inwardly groaned. Not only her hair, but the girl herself was perfect: taller than her (it wasn't hard, but still made her jealous), ski-slope nose and high cheekbones, with electric blue eyes that even her pearl-adorned mask couldn't hide. Complete with the pink dress, she looked like she had stepped right out of the Barbie movies Keisha always forced her to watch. Agura sighed; she probably would have had more luck in terms of a cuss-out bumping into Emilia or Annessa.

"I am so sorry! Are you alright?" The girl extended a long, thin arm to help her up, and Agura, surprised, took her hand. "I'm so clumsy!" She sighed, her voice accented with British.

"That's fine; it was totally my bad." Agura smiled, standing. Maybe all princesses weren't so bad after all…

And then she saw the gigantic camera lens three feet away from them snap a picture and move on to its next victim.

"Um, yeah, it totally was." The once sing-songy British was replaced by a snobby attitude. "Watch where you're going, will you? I can't have you tripping me in front of a prince! God, some people." She rolled her sapphire eyes and turned on her heel, flouncing away. Agura sighed.

_Or maybe princesses were exactly as bad as she had thought._

"Ignore her. Bella is a total tart." Agura was startled as a new girl appeared at her side.

"Um…" Was all Agura could manage, staring at this new princess. She was short (shorter than her! Finally!) with straight brown hair and a sea-green dress and mask.

"_That_ was Bella, the pride of her entire kingdom. She pretty much represents every Barbie princess stereotype ever made." The girl explained. "I'm Ariana Rose, but _please_, and by please I mean for God's sake, call me Ari. My parents are seriously the worst namers ever."

Agura smiled. She was getting good vibes from this girl.

"I'm Agura." She introduced. "Um, no cool nickname."

"Shame." 'Ari' smiled back. "Ah, that sure is an interesting dress you've got there." She commented carefully, and Agura laughed.

"Don't even get me started. The Queen wanted me to wear something 'patriotic' for the ceremony-…Oops." Agura trailed off, realizing she had revealed herself.

"Ohmygawd, you're that new princess!" Ari hissed in disbelief. "That is seriously so cool."

"Yeah, it's been soooo much fun." Agura replied sarcastically, and Ari gave her a sly smile.

"You're aren't exactly in to this whole princess thing, are you?"

"Promise not to tell the paparazzi?" Agura rolled her eyes.

"Gawd no." Ari held up her pinky. "Princess principle."

"In that case, no." Agura replied. "Not one bit. I'm wearing a sports bra and track shorts under this dumb dress."

"Perfect." Ari smiled. She turned to her side and waved a pair of girls over. "There are a few princesses I think you'd like to meet." The duo of perfectly made-up girls joined them, one of whom looked exactly like Bella but in a blue dress, and each waving a dainty glove.

"Jazzy."

"Cindy. And yes, I'm Bella's ugly twin."

"You are not the ugly twin." Ari sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize _I _was the one adored by the entire friggin' country."

"Give up the bitter act, Cinders, it's opposite of attractive." Ari rolled her eyes.

"Go balance some books on your head." Cindy shot back.

"Quit it. Now." The princess who had introduced herself as 'Jazzy,' a gorgeous, dark-skinned girl in a purple mask, stepped in between the two.

"Jazzy, you know we're not serious." Cindy rolled her eyes. "So hey, who's the new recruit?"

"Recruit?" Agura asked.

"Ladies, this is Agura." Ari introduced, and Agura waved shyly.

"Welcome to the P.A.P." Cindy nodded, making a gesture as if to rip the tiara from her head.

"P.A.P.?" Agura asked again.

"P.A.P. Princesses against Princessing." Ari replied smartly, making the same gesture. "That's our sign; don't tell anyone. It's probably a good thing nothing's been leaked to you. The organization itself is extremely underground, but you look trustworthy, especially considering the fact you're marrying _that_ guy and wearing _that_ dress. Well, either that, or you've got a serious case of country pride."

"Nope, your secret's safe with me." Agura laughed. "Um, no offense, but Princesses Against Princessing? You all seem very…princessy." She admitted, remembering her original Barbie doll thoughts.

"Oh." Cindy looked down in dismay at her frothy blue dress, adorned with ribbons, and the light blonde hair that hung in perfect curls. "Trust me, this is all Bella's genes. I'd much rather be playing football."

"For me it's _all_ my mother." Jazzy added. "She's a total-"

"Psycho?" Agura raised an eyebrow. "Join the club."

"Actually, Agura, that was _my_ club's plan." Ari said devilishly. "P.A.P. Think about it. It's really just a support group for girls like us; you know, being forced into marriages and stuffed into corsets too tight to breathe. We have relations in over fifty countries worldwide; you'd be surprised how many princesses aren't too fond of their position."

"Ari is the total organizer. She started the whole thing." Cindy said proudly, and Ari blushed.

"Well, Cindy and Jazz helped."

"Yeah, yeah, modesty, whatever." Jazzy held up a hand. "So Agura, you going to the Undergrind later?"

"The…undergrind?" Agura asked in confusion.

"Oh my gawd, that's right!" Ari exclaimed. "You're new here! The Undergrind is actually this _mega-_underground club that all the teens hit after balls. It started-"

"Oh!" Cindy cut in. "I love to tell it; can I _please_ tell it?!" Ari nodded, and the blonde took a deep breath.

"Legend has it that this one girl was a waitress at a local coffee shop. Total commoner, when all of a sudden, a prince walks in! So she's like, gorgeous, and he's all 'Marry me!', and so he invites her to the upcoming royal ball, right? So she goes, because, hell-_lo,_ royal ball! Well, I guess she was more into than we are, but that's not the point. Anyway, she's at the ball, and she's just chilling there like 'this is the most boring thing I've ever done,' and so _after, _she invites all of the teen royals back to the coffee shop's basement for a _real_ party. It's been tradition ever since!" Cindy explained. "I mean, it's probably not true, but how cool is that?!"

"Pretty cool." Agura nodded.

"Nawt to mention clever." Ari cut in.

"Eh. I never really got the whole 'Undergrind' thing." Cindy shrugged, and Ari gave her a dumbfounded look.

"_Underground? _Coffee _grinds?_ _Under-grind_?"

"Yeah, confusing, right?" Cindy shook her head, and Jazzy and Ari sighed.

"I hope you brought an extra dress for it, though. That flag ain't gonna fly." Jazzy shook her head, and Agura frowned.

"I don't know if I'm exactly the nightclub kind of girl…" Agura admitted, and Cindy gasped.

"Oh my gawd. That is like, so mega-sad."

"It's okay. We'll turn you into one." Ari winked. She was about to say something else when Jazzy cut her off.

"Uh-oh. Incoming, nine o'clock." Jazzy muttered, and Agura looked to her left.

"Egggura! Erin, Cynthia, Jane! So glad you could all make it!" Sabrina cut into their tight circle like a shark through waters, and Cindy crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

"Oh, Cynthia, still having those dreadful muscle spasms?" Sabrina asked sympathetically, and Cindy smiled sweetly, flailing her right arm crazily and smacking Sabrina in the chest.

"Seems like." She smiled.

"So odd how darling _Bella _doesn't have them." Sabrina shot, trying to sound sweet.

"Yes. Odd." Cindy ground her teeth, and Jazzy gave her a look as if to say 'she's not worth it'.

"Well, that's too bad. If you'll excuse me, I was hoping to have a private chat with dear Eggura here." Sabrina said, an Ari gave Agura an uneasy look.

"Ah, sure." She nodded, giving Agura a look.

"Check your back for knives." Ari whispered as the trio of PAPs retreated.

"So, cute dress. Snag it off the flagpole?" Sabrina sneered the second the girls had left, and Agura rolled her eyes.

"Actually, your dear Auntie picked it out for me. We had such a lovely time at lunch today while you were…ah, 'dieting'." She narrowed her eyes, secretly beaming with pride at the comeback.

Sabrina gasped. "I told you, I had a _stomachache!_" She lowered her voice and hissed, looking around to make sure no one had heard.

"I totally understand; we've all had body-image issues." Agura faked concern, putting a gloved hand on Sabrina's shoulder (and trying not to gag). "It's okay." She nodded supportively, trying not to laugh.

"Well-I-…ugh!" Sabrina slapped Agura's hand away. "Well, I'm sure with _that_ derriere you've had quite a few body-images issues yourself!" She snapped, and Agura raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, first off, _sweetheart_, my 'derriere' is voluptuous," she folded her arms, "And second, I'd rather have that than chicken cutlets stuffed down my bra." Sabrina gasped.

"There is _not_ chicken in my bra!" She shrieked defensively, causing a few of the ball guests to give her curious looks.

"Girl please, I smelled it a mile away." Agura rolled her eyes; that part was true. "Do me a favor and try to catch salmonella?"

"I do _nawt_ stuff my bra!" Sabrina snapped, glaring at her adversary, who only smiled sympathetically. Agura was beginning to realize that half of the princesses sounded more like the teenage valley girls they truly were than carefully sculpted, poised princesses.

"Honey, it's not just stuffed, it's spilling out."

"UGH!" Sabrina stamped her foot on the ground angrily. "Who do you think you _are_?!"

"I know I'm not a bra-stuffing, cousin-marrying little snake." Agura pointed out cheerily, and Sabrina trembled with fury. The redhead stormed over to a passing waiter and grabbed a glass of dark red wine from his tray. Agura's eyes widened with realization as Sabrina pulled her arm back, and she could have easily dodged what happened next, but as Sabrina flung the contents of the glass at her she realized something.

_I don't even LIKE this dress._

And so as red wine splattered all over the Union Jack. The glass hit the floor and smashed into hundreds of pieces, and the crowd around them fell silent. Ari, Jazz, and Cindy's jaws dropped; they were all too familiar with Sabrina to know it had been an accident.

"Oh, my goodness! Princess Agura, are you alright?" Sabrina, the first to speak, clapped a hand to her mouth, faking concern even though her eyes shone with malice and delight. Agura knew her game, and decided it was time she became the referee.

"Thank you, Sabrina, I'm fine. My, how clumsy of you to drop that glass of wine!" She exclaimed. "And such a beautiful dress, too….ah, well, I'm sure it was just an accident. I mean, you wouldn't have actually been _drinking_, no?" She faked concern, and every eyebrow watching them was raised. Sabrina turned bright red and began spewing excuses.

"Oh, no, o-of course not!" She sputtered. "I-I'm hurt that you would think such a thing, _Princess_!" She said, at first in embarrassment but then slower, calculating how to twist the situation to her advantage.

"Why, Sabrina, I know you would never deliberately break a law!" Agura smiled cheerily. "It's just that we Rhodes girls must look out for each other, no?" She slung a friendly arm around the girl, making sure to squeeze her stained dress as close to Sabrina's pure white one as possible. Sabrina noticed this and pushed her away, inspecting the damage done.

"Ugh! Get off of me, you little-" Sabrina froze mid-insult as she remembered the crowd staring at the two of them. "Ah, I mean, Agura, you silly thing! You've gotten my dress all red!" She tittered, looking down in dismay to the giant red blotch coating the right side of her gown.

"Oh!" Agura clapped a palm to her mouth in surprise. "Why, Sabrina, I apologize! I had already forgiven and forgotten about the stain; I do hope it washes out!" She said sincerely, and Sabrina could barely contain her rage.

"I'm sure it will." She said through clenched teeth. "If you'll excuse me, I really ought to freshen up." She turned on her heel and walked off as calmly as possible, and the crowd slowly dissipated, but Agura caught strains of conversation from the retreating royals.

"Aye, now that's a real princess."

"Such grace and charm even _after_ that beautiful dress was ruined!"

"What poise! What elegance! What a charming addition to Britain's royal family!"

Agura suddenly realized that one of the voices she had overheard was actually an eager-eyed reporter, holding a microphone up to her lips with a cameraman not three feet away from her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Agura Ibaden-soon-to-be-Rhodes!" The reporter exclaimed. "This is Katharine McPhee reporting live from the royal bash of the century! Do tell us, Agura, what's it like to be Britain's next princess?" She shoved the microphone in Agura's face.

"Oh. Ah, thank you, Katharine." Agura forced a smile, pushing the microphone so that it didn't collide with her incisors. "It's certainly exciting." She admitted.

"I'm sure it is. And now, Agura, we've just watched you interact with…I'm sorry, who was that again?" Katharine asked in confusion.

"That was Sabrina Rhodes, a cousin of Stanford's. I had lunch with her earlier this morning, actually. She's a real dear, but unfortunately she had to cut our lunch a bit short. Lactose intolerant, you know." Agura said confidentially to Katharine, who tittered.

"Well, I'm glad to see she's feeling better! Except for that dress incident, of course." Katharine added with a sympathetic frown.

"I know, I just feel so terrible!" Agura sighed dismally. "I do hope she can find it to forgive me."

"I'm sure she will." Katharine said sincerely. "Now, Agura, you're from Nigeria, correct? Pray tell, what's it like to be in a big city like London?"

"It's definitely different, Katharine." Agura laughed, hoping she didn't sound as fake as she felt and wishing she could grit her teeth and scream 'NOT ALL OF AFRICA IS A SAVANNA!'. "But everyone has just been so friendly and welcoming. It's really a wonderful country." She held her tongue.

"I'm glad you love it enough to wear it wrapped around your torso." Katharine cracked a joke, and Agura laughed.

"Yes, well, unfortunately I'll have to change into something a little cleaner. I just hope the stain comes out in case I have to wear it for the wedding!" She exclaimed, and Katharine's eyes brightened with the prospect of the latest royal topic in Britain since William and Kate.

"That's right! Tell us, how will you be celebrating? I'll be there covering, you know, what can we expect?" She asked.

"I honestly couldn't tell you; I've hardly even spoken about the wedding in my time here!" Agura admitted. "But if it's anything like this ball, I'm sure it will be wonderful."

"I'm sure it will be." Katharine nodded. "Well, I should let you change, but it was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Agura! I know all of Britain will be watching you two slip on those rings!" She winked at Agura, and then turned back to the camera. "This is Katharine McPhee, reporting live from the palace! Back to you, Harry." The camera lowered, and Katharine kissed her on both cheeks, right then left.

"It was a pleasure, dear!" She snapped twice, spun on her heel, and just like that the entourage was gone. Agura shook her head. At least she could escape the ball for a few minutes to get out of the dress.

_Crap. The dress. What was she going to change in to?_

A devilish gleam formed in her mascaraed brown eyes.

_Well, I only brought one other dress…_

**A/N: This ran SOOOOOO long. I'm talking 7,000 words long. So, had to break it up, but I am SO glad to finally get an update out! I have been waiting to publish that Agurbrina dress scene since day one (FYI not a femslash, just a way to refer to all of their exchanges, because there will be a lot).**

**Random Thought of the Day: I'm listening to that new Taylor Swift song 'Red'. (RED RED RED RED, RED RED RED RED, RED RED RED RED, RED RED RED RED!) People at my school think I look like her….*shrugs* I don't see it, but they literally call me T-Swift. *double shrugs***

**Random Author Preview of the Day: I'm working on a Vergura high school fic! Eeeep! Have to talk to peoples about copying, etc, but it will be done! (So will Dating Down Under, promise!) Finally, I woke up at 4:50 AM this morning to hand water to marathoners! WHEEEEEEEEEEohGodI'msotired**

…**XD. I missed you guys. :) Hope you liked!**


	9. The Ball (Part Two) PS Happy New Year!

**Wow it's been a long time. OKAY. This is mainly a filler chapter I guess, but I like the next one a lot better. Anyway, we left off with Agura changing into her sexy dress ;)**

"Ow owww! You slut!" Cindy clapped her white gloves together as Agura re-entered the ballroom, now wearing the _other_ dress. "That's a total compliment, by the way."

"Dang, girl, you DID bring a dress for the Undergrind!" Jazz looked her up and down, nodding in approval.

"Jazz, don't be a lez." Ari rolled her eyes, laughing. "But seriously, you look smokin'. Think the queen's gonna be pissed?"

"Oh, she'll definitely be pissed." Agura nodded. "But…it was my only other dress." She winked, thinking suddenly of Elaina. _I hope she's doing okay…_

Suddenly, the symphony of music seemed a whole lot louder.

"Ohmygawd, dancing! I have to find Alexander!" A princess near them absolutely freaked out, sprinting away as best she could in her heels. Ari, Jazz, Cindy and Agura simultaneously rolled her eyes.

"Dancing?" Agura asked skeptically.

"Don't worry. You really just sway back and forth." Cindy shrugged, tapping a prince near her on the shoulder. "Hey, dude. Wanna dance?"

The prince looked at her in a small amount of fear. "Um, usually it's the prince who asks-"

"Yeah, okay buddy, c'mon." Cindy rolled her eyes, dragging him to the couples that had already lined up.

"Okay, I swear she's a boy on the inside." Jazz muttered just before she was tapped on the shoulder. "Ooh! Don't mind if I do…" She smiled and let the prince lead her away.

"Am I supposed to dance with Stanford?" Agura hissed to Ari.

"Nah, don't want to give it away before the unveiling." Ari shrugged, craning her neck to spot the redhead. "Oh, and it looks like _he_ already found someone…" she commented in interest, pointing to where Stanford was bowing to some brunette girl. Agura felt a tiny flare of jealousy, not because she _wanted_ to dance with him (she didn't), but because he, in total jerkiness (was that a word? Because it described him PERFECTLY right now!), had left her, the total newbie, up the creek without a paddle or a dance partner!

"Oh hey, Eric!" Ari suddenly exclaimed, tapping a prince who had appeared to their left.

"Ari! Sup girl?" Eric high-fived her. "You wanna throw down?"

"Save it for the Undergrind, doofus." Ari gave him a grin. "Now, ahhhsk me for this dahhhhnce." She drawled in an exaggerated accent.

"Oh, Ari, my love, dance with me!" Eric cried dramatically, kneeling and grabbing her hand passionately. Ari laughed, playing along.

"Why, Prince Eric, certainly!" She exclaimed, pulling him to his feet and giving Agura a flirty wave goodbye. Agura narrowed her eyes, considering her options. She could either-

A. Stand by the food table and pig out like the loner she was (fatty much?)  
B. Randomly cut off Brunette and demand Stanford dance with her? (Just a _little _witchy.)  
C. Pretend to have a seizure? (Drastic, not to mention embarrassing.)  
D. Have Sage make her a portal and zap back to the Salt Flats? (Yeah, _that_ wouldn't freak anybody out.)

Or was it 'Other,' the option where she turns around and finds not one, not two, but at least _six_ different princes of various attractiveness staring directly at her?

The option where all six blush, like children caught with their hand in the cookie jar, when suddenly one steps forward, like a Moses parting the Red Sea?

The option where, with white teeth gleaming, blue eyes sparkling, and a tanned, muscular arm extended he asks, "May I have this dance?"?

Well, sadly, it was not that option, but at this point Agura would take what she could get. There was a crowd of princes (she blamed it on the dress), and one did step forward, although the parting was more of a shuffle than the splitting of the Red Sea. His eyes did not sparkle, although they were a decent shade of green, and she wasn't sure of the condition of muscle or tan-ness on his arm due to the tuxedo jacket, but he did have fairly nice teeth and she did need a dance partner. He introduced himself as Stewart as they joined the line of couples that was forming, him opposite her, and she replied that she was Agura and had no idea how to dance. He laughed and said that she simply had to follow his lead. She didn't appreciate taking a traditional gender role, but then again she didn't have a choice. The princes bowed to their partners, and in turn the girls curtsied. Agura was only a beat behind, but her curtsy, programmed in by thousands of repetitions in front of her mother, was absolutely flawless (if not a bit less low than usual, thanks for that thigh-high slit).They took each other's hands and Agura decided that maybe dancing wasn't as terrible as she had thought. Just a bunch of swaying around. Then, of course, her partner's hand, currently on her back, tried to sneak down further.

"Yep, okay, no, we're done." Agura shook her head, removing his hands from what Steward apparently considered her back and separating the two of them. Fortunately, this was part of the choreography that everyone seemed to know but her, and so it seemed planned. Agura quickly grabbed the prince to her right and spun into his arms. The princess she had stolen him from gave her a murderous glare as she was now stuck with Agura's old partner. The prince Agura had stolen gave her a curious look, then looked down at the rest of her and decided to call it an upgrade. It bothered Agura in the slightest, but at least he kept his hands above the equator.

And considering the cameras, including a certain Katharine McPhee's, positioned everywhere, she could only hope it didn't bother Vert too much.

**Back in Handler's Corners (several hours later because of time zone differences and yaddadadadada):**

"Better than that horrible flag dress she got caught in." Sherman was the only one able to make a non-sexual comment on the outfit change.

"Uh, _yeah_. Waaaaaay better." Spinner muttered, and was rewarded with a sharp elbow in the side. "Ow!" He pouted to Vert, who sat there with a slightly smug, but still irritated, look on his face.

"He's not wrong." Zoom commented.

"Dude, you're like what, thirteen?" AJ looked at him curiously, and his remark was funnier because he was trying to make an inquiry instead of a joke.

"Sixteen. Oh, and shut up." Zoom grumbled.

"Yeah, and she's seventeen. So nice try." Spinner cackled, and Zoom gave him the same treatment Vert had administered to Spinner.

"Yeah, chicks don't go for the whole younger-than-them thing." AJ shook his head.

"Next person to make a sexual comment about my girlfriend not only gets toilet duty but their head stuck in one." Vert called with a half-joking, half-not-at-all tone in his voice, and everyone immediately fell silent.

"Hey, can we watch the game?" AJ asked after a minute.

"No, no, Vert has to creep on his girlfriend to make sure Agura doesn't hook up with one of the members of One Direction." Spinner reprimanded mockingly, grabbing a pillow just in time to escape Vert's elbow.

"Okay, you guys are not only immature, but annoying me. Out." Vert pointed to the door.

"But I'm watching!"

"No, you're stalking other princesses!"

"You're stalking other princes which is even worse because it's gay!"

"OUUUUTTTTT!"

"Why are you so irritable?!"

"Dude, he and Agura get it on like, seven times a week. He's 'frustrated'!"

"For the love of God, AJ, stay out of this! And you promised not to tell anyone!"

"He's right, isn't he?! You're 'frustrated', aren't you?!"

"OUT!"

So, in short, despite the absence of the team's two greatest conflict starters, nothing at home had really changed. Vert grabbed the remote and increased the volume, wondering if that would allow him to her exactly what she was saying.

"Vert, you know Agura wouldn't go for any of those princes." Sherman, who had retreated along with the rest of the team, peered his head through the door. "Aren't you kind of obsessing a little?"

"No." Vert replied curtly, and Sherman sighed.

"Whatever you say, boss."

He ducked just in time to avoid the pillow flying for his head.

**Back to the Ball:**

Agura felt a little guilty for stealing her partner, but she was way too absorbed in trying to figure out who the heck Stanford was dancing with. She dipped, twisted and turned along with the other girls, constantly craning her neck to try and discover Brunette's identity.

When she finally caught the right angle and saw the girl's face, her jaw dropped and she missed a few steps.

**Earlier…**_** Stanford POV:**_

_What does Agura think she's doing?!This ball is supposed to be MY debut! In a dress like that, she's going to steal the whole spotlight and then some!_

Stanford was fuming until he noticed a prince try to sneak a peek at Agura walked by him.

And then another.

A whole line of them, not even trying to disguise their ogling as she strutted past!

In a protective sort of way, he bristled, but only for a second until realizing something.

_Well, at least I'll finally have SOMETHING to hold over Vert._

Another prince leered and bounced his eyebrows at his friend.

_And maybe a little more respect from the guys…Yeah, I'll let the dress thing slide._

Stanford shrugged. He wasn't _jealous_ of Agura; she might be a princess but she acted like a total commoner (and a tomboy commoner at that). It was just…Simon was always so popular at the royal balls. Stanford was…well, sort of the ugly stepsister. Most of the princes that talked to him here had really only mistaken him for his brother. He sighed. The _real_ Stanford Isaac Rhodes III only got to shine as the cool DJ at the Undergrind, it seemed, but the problem was that it was the balls where social status was determined and names were made known. So was he jealous? No. Sure, she was getting more attention than him (from guys _and_ girls, it seemed; which was odd considering how she didn't really seem to fit in with the latter) and so what if she had gotten to ditch that ugly dress and was now stealing the show in this slew-errific one? (Vert would _definitely _kill him for saying that). He wasn't jealous. Not one bit.

"Oof!" Stanford realized that, in his musings, he hadn't exactly been paying attention to his surroundings, and had run right into a girl dressed in deep blue.

"Oh! Y-your Majesty." The girl turned and curtsied nervously. "Please, excuse my clumsiness."

"Don't worry about it, it was my fault." Stanford replied quickly. Out of all the thousand princesses at the ball, why did the particular one have him stumbling and blushing like a newb?! She was gorgeous, that much was clear: long dark hair and blue eyes, with a dress that somehow reminded him of the color of Agura's. The old one, that is, but this one was much more attractive, just like its wearer (Agura would kill him for saying that but he too awestruck to filter his thoughts). He realized that he and this girl, whoever she was (he desperately needed to find out) were caught in a hugely awkward silence.

"Well, um, this is quite the ball." She began anxiously, hoping he couldn't hear her heart pounding.

"Yes, well, once you've been to one, you've been to them all." Stanford shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, as if he seduced girls like her all of the time. Obviously, he didn't. "Though I say, the ladies seem to grow more and more lovely every time." He winked boldly, and she blushed behind the mask. "What's your name?"

"Elaina." She responded shyly.

"How lovely." Stanford smiled, and as if on cue, music began to play. "Ah, may I, um, have this dance?" He looked to her nervously. Stanford was obviously a fabulous dancer (anyone could see that), but when it came to the traditional ball style he suddenly had two left feet. The important part with the dance, though, was to get a partner, and _fast_. Nobody wanted to be the odd one out of the line, and he wanted to be dancing with her.

"Y-yes. Of course!" Elaina stammered as he took her hand, guiding her to the dance floor. "I-I've never actually done this." She admitted.

"That's okay; just follow my lead." Stanford repeated the line that had been drilled into him and still retained its class to her, and she smiled as the music began.

**Back to Agura:**

_Oh my God oh my God oh my God OH MY GOD!_

_**OH MY FREAKING GOD!**_

_**STANLAINA!**_

She could hardly even believe that the two were hitting it off-

Actually, she could hardly believe ANYONE would hit it off with Stanford. Most of the time she just felt like hitting him. But hey, good for him!

Should she _warn_ Elaina? They did seem to be having fun, but they had only just met! The poor girl probably had no idea what a player he….well, _considered_ himself, but for once the Brit actually seemed to be thinking about what was coming out of his mouth. Agura was focusing so hard on that problem that she didn't realize her stolen partner was looking at her in amusement.

"So, um, thanks for saving me from dancing with that guy." Agura said quietly as what would be forever known as the longest dance of her lifetime continued.

"Oh, Prince Stewart the fem-Slewart?" Her new prince cracked a grin. "Yeah, good call on ditching him. He has that nickname for a reason."

"Thanks for the tip. I hope your girlfriend isn't too mad, though." Agura added.

"Oh, that girl? Nah, that's Princess Emilia, and trust me, I have _no_ relations with her whatsoever." He shook his head. "I'm George, by the way."

"Agura. Nice to meet you." Agura said. "So, does everyone actually know this dance, or…?"

"Oh, yeah, we all had to memorize it." George nodded. "Don't worry, it's almost over…now." The music stopped, and the couples performed one more bow and curtsy.

"Nice." Agura started to say, but was cut off by someone tapping her on the shoulder.

"Princess, we're about to start the reveal ceremony." A suited waiter (or guard, she couldn't tell them apart anymore) said quietly.

"Alright." Agura bit her lip. What would the Queen say about her outfit change?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Agura!" Sophia's welcoming smile faltered. She, Steven and Stanford were gathered behind a red curtain on the balcony. "Um, your dress…" She couldn't seem to find words to describe it.

"Yeah, Sabrina spilled wine on my other one, so…" Agura said bluntly. She had held up the positively perfect princess role all night and was ready for a break.

_Sweatpants sound REAL nice right about now._

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry that you didn't have anything else to change into." Sophia apologized uneasily. It was plain to see she did _not_ feel comfortable with Agura wearing that.

"That's okay." Agura pasted on widest smile while debating whether or not to be insulted.

"Now, don't forget to take off your mask, dear-" Sophia began saying when suddenly, trumpets blared and the noise on the other side of the curtain went quiet.

"Oh! That's our cue!" The Queen clapped, dragging Steven and Stanford through the curtain with her. They were met with wild applause.

_Wait! When's my cue?!_ Agura panicked, slipping off the white mask as the queen began.

"Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests! I'd like to thank you all for attending tonight, and it was lovely to reconnect and see so many familiar faces!" Sophia paused to beam at the crowd. "Now, I know you've been waiting for all night for this, so without further ado, I would like to introduce to you, my son Stanford's bride and the future heir to the throne if a hundred and eighty eight of us Rhodes die off, Miss Agura Ibaden!"

_Well, I guess that would be my cue._ Agura shrugged, stepping through the curtain and instantly feeling more exposed than she had ever felt in her entire life. Every person in that massive ballroom was staring straight at her; every person waiting for her to mess up. She could practically feel the heat of two thousand eyeballs all directly focused on her. Panic spread through her like wildfire, and she tried not to think about it, even though that was impossible.

_Never let them see you sweat._

Her own motto rang through her head just seconds before her mother's strained instruction.

_Well smile and wave, dear!_

Agura slowly lifted her hand and plastered her best princess grin on her face, feeling for all the world like a robotic doll in a display case, waiting to be pounced upon and thrown all over the room by some greedy five year old.

The audience loved it. They clapped, and cheered, and she pretended to smile back and wave across the massive room as if she cared, as if she wanted to be here and spend the rest of her life with these stuck-up socialites.

"Agura, is there anything you would like to say to the kingdom?" Sophia whispered to her, and Agura almost snorted.

"No thanks." She replied graciously. "Nothing you could repeat on national news."

"What's that dear?" Sophia asked again, and Agura resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Oh, nothing."

_Just smile and wave._

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Thank _God_ that's over." Agura muttered as she re-joined the P.A.P.

"Nice work, I couldn't even tell you didn't want to be up there." Ari laughed.

"Oh my God, I can't even imagine the look on Queen Sophia's face when you showed up in that!" Cindy clapped her white-gloved hands together.

"I can't even imagine all of the eye rolls there were when people realized that I'm going to be their new princess." Agura laughed, but a part of her secretly wished that they would deny it. Just a teeny, tiny part.

"More like wolf whistles." Jazzy pointed out, and Agura blushed.

"Hey, speaking of wolf whistles, what's up with you and that cute Eric guy?" Agura asked Ari, and Cindy and Jazz both squealed.

"Shut up!" Ari hissed, and just as quickly switched back to a sugary smile as a camera rolled past them. "Eric and I are just _friends._" She said clearly, but Jazz shook her head in doubt.

"Please. Y'alls kingdoms are right next to each other, you hang out all the time, and Royal People magazine had an _article_ about you. That's love." Jazz snapped, and Cindy high-fived her.

"Royal People magazine does not decide who's in love." Ari rolled her eyes defensively.

"What's Royal People magazine?" Agura asked.

"It's like People magazine, but, you know, for Royals." Cindy explained.

"Uh-huh." Agura muttered. _That has to be the most ridiculous, pompous, mind-numbing-_

"You should know, Agura, there was an article on you in it just yesterday." Ari commented.

"What?!" Agura demanded, panicking slightly. "Saying what?"

"Oh, nothing too personal. They somehow got pics of you getting off the airplane-"

"Oh my God, I was wearing sweatpants!" Agura cried in distress, and the three princesses cackled.

"You sound like Bella!" Jazz wheezed.

"Hey! Don't speak of The-Twin-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" Cindy stopped laughing long enough to snap.

"Ladies, please." Ari halted her giggles long enough to rest her elbow on Agura's shoulder. "A princess's true beauty is measured by what's on the _inside_." She nodded in mock sincerity and sent the trio into another fit of mirth.

"It's not the size of your tiara or your country, but the size of your heart." Jazz chimed in, barely containing her amusement.

"And if you're not Bella than screw you!" Cindy flung her arms into the air and this time even Agura doubled over in laughter.

"So, hey, when exactly does this ball end?" She finally asked when the giggles had subsided.

"Oh, these things can go on forever." Ari rolled her eyes.

"We usually just sneak out and hit the Undergrind." Cindy added.

"Then let's blow this popsicle stand." Jazz grumbled.

"Jazzy, you know we have to wait our turn…" Ari chastised.

"Turn?" Agura asked, wondering when she would stop feeling like an outsider among these girls.

"Yeah." Cindy turned to explain. "It would be mega-suspicious if all of the young royals left at the same time, so we have a pre-determined order, organized by whoever is hosting the ball. Everyone signs up in groups of three or four and then they're assigned times, usually ten or fifteen minutes apart, to sneak out."

"How do you know all this?" Agura asked in disbelief. It was harder being a royal than she thought.

"Facebook." Ari laughed.

"There's a Facebook page for the Undergrind?" Agura raised a dubious eyebrow.

"Um, of course! How else would we figure all of this out?" Jazz said, as if it were obvious. "Hey, when's our slot again?"

"Um…" Cindy looked around the room, locking her eyes on the grand analog clock. "Okay, little hand on the ten, big hand on the…"

"Congrats, Cindy, you're both blind and can't tell time." Jazz muttered.

"Hey! My governess never taught me how!" Cindy defended.

"Yes she did, Cindy." Ari said unemotionally, as if she had repeated it a hundred times.

"Okay, fine, but-"

"For the love of P.A.P., it's ten-twenty-eight!" Jazz huffed.

"Oh my God, _finally_! We get to leave in two minutes!" Cindy fist-pumped. "I'm about to get my Gangnam on."

"I just hope-"

"That _Errrrric _goes?" Jazz nudged Ari with a wink.

"No!" Ari glared. "That Stanford plays that new Will. . 'Scream and Shout' song!"

"Ooh, the one in the Beats commercial?" Cindy asked.

"You know it!" Ari cheered. "It'll be so fun to dance to-"

"With _Errrrric_?" Jazz nudged her again

"No!" Ari blushed. "Okay, maybe!"

"Ha! You two are so in love." Cindy sighed happily.

"We are not in love, we're just friends." Ari rolled her eyes.

"With benefits?" Jazz suggested devilishly.

"Oh my God! No!" Ari hissed. "God, Jazz, someone's gonna hear you!"

"And then you and Eric will HAVE to date each other. Mwa. Ha. HA." Jazz smiled smugly.

"Hey, um, girls? Ten-thirty?" Cindy said impatiently.

"Oh my God, Cindy, I'm so proud of you!" Jazz squealed and clapped.

"Are you making fun of me?" Cindy asked suspiciously.

"Never!" Jazz said sincerely, patting her shoulder. "Now c'mon, let's hit the Undergrind!"

Agura blindly followed the P.A.P. trio to a limousine that was parked outside.

"You guys really go all out." She murmured as they entered.

"Eh. It's just so that we can all change." Ari shrugged, already wriggling out of her green dress.

"And, because this car is a place of honesty, you could use a few _minor_ alterations." Jazz added, wriggling a royal purple number up her torso.

"What happened to 'ow ow, you slut'?" Agura raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no, you're still a slut, but that was for ball standards." Cindy winked to show that the statement was not meant as an insult. "You're mega overdressed for the Undergrind."

"I already changed once, and I didn't bring anything else!" Agura worried. Yes, she did hate it here, but she hated not fitting in a whole lot more.

"No problem." Jazz smiled calmly, and before Agura could stop her the caramel-skinned girl had snatched a pair of scissors and sheared off the bottom half of her dress.

"Oh my God!" She shrieked in half shock, half disbelief, as the dress went from a jagged, diagonally slit hem exposing one of her legs to a straight one that ran right across the middle of her thigh.

"I love it!" Ari squealed.

"It's a freaking tube top!" Agura screeched. "This is way too short!"

"Honey, wait until you see what some of these girls wear to the Undergrind." Jazz consoled. "You'll look like a nun."

**Okay, there's more, but that's all I could do for now! (Getting on the long side) I hope everyone had an AWESOME holiday break!**


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